


Night Terrors

by Mythicamagic



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Tragedy, Bonding, Character Death, Eventual Romance, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Night Terrors, Sesshoumaru is Bad at Feelings, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:21:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29560428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythicamagic/pseuds/Mythicamagic
Summary: In a haze of bloodlust caused by his demonic heritage, Inuyasha kills his beloved friends. All except Kagome. Finding them too late, Sesshoumaru takes the traumatised miko into his group. Sesskag.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru
Comments: 335
Kudos: 406





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This fic takes place around episode 52 where Inuyasha lost control of his demon blood.
> 
> Warning: angst. A LOT OF ANGST. Features character death and hurt/comfort. Potentially triggering scenes involving grief, the whole shebang. You'll know if this fic is for you or not by the first chapter.

She'd been running.

Kagome's legs burned, lungs protesting as she fought to breathe. Everything ached. She would've collapsed if she had the luxury.

Panting harshly, the miko ran like a thing possessed- mind blank with pure terror. Navigating through the twisting, gnarled trees and uneven hillside became second nature, mud-soaked loafers slipping on upturned tree-roots as she descended deeper into the forest. She stumbled, knees shaking- shoulder colliding with the hard, sturdy surface of a trunk and sending her down. Kagome yelped as her knees banged against the earth. Using her elbows to prop herself up, she caught her wheezing breath, feeling slick with sweat. She couldn't use her arms to haul herself up, so the miko blearily forced herself to stand by shifting both feet- legs wobbling like jelly.

A distant sound reached her ears, and Kagome bolted like startled prey. The snarling came again, far off- but entirely too close for comfort.

Whimpering and praying, Kagome could barely think, racing through the trees in a blind panic. However, the distant knowledge of dogs and scent tracking came to mind when rushing water came into view. At this rate, with blood practically soaked into their forms, they'd eventually be caught.

Kagome adjusted the small form within her arms, cradling him close against one shoulder and blinking rapidly, eyes stinging. Her eyelids felt like crumpled sandpaper, exhausted from crying. Stepping down onto some moss-covered rocks gingerly, she dropped into the chilly river below, feet finding the bottom of the riverbed. Water sloshed about her waist, and progress was slow as she waded as quickly as possible. Kagome grit her teeth and murmured an apology into blood-streaked red hair, before plunging beneath the surface and kicking her legs.

Keep going, keep going, keep going.

A drumming noise thundered loud and fast within the miko's ears- her heartbeat. She held her breath until her lungs constricted, surfacing with a cough.

The kitsune's solid, cold, dead weight resting against her shoulder made her stomach turn. Kagome grit blunt teeth and pressed on. If she let herself stop…

If she paused, even for a moment, she'd release the noises locked behind her now chattering teeth in a horrifyingly loud wail.

Hearing movement above them beyond the rocky incline of the riverbank, she stilled. Chirping insects fell silent. Her breathing suddenly sounded too loud. Blue eyes snapped up to the crisscrossing branches of the trees overhead, searching for any glimpse of familiar red robes that would've previously made her entire being glow.

A twig snapped.

Kagome shrank away, water thrashing. She hurried madly, muddied shoes scraping the bottom of the riverbed and quickly getting out of the lazy current. Throwing herself under the shade of some jagged tree roots that spilt out above them, creating a small alcove, she panted.

Shivering and clutching the small, lifeless body close, trembling fingers groped around madly around her, not daring to take her eyes off the opening.

Feeling something cool and jagged meet the slick surface of her palm, Kagome gripped it tight. She thrust the sharp rock up protectively, letting out a yelp just as a shadow swooped down before the opening.

Boots landed hard in the water, creating a splash.

Kagome panted wildly, weapon poised mid-air. She'd die, the miko realised dimly. She'd die and Mama would never know what had happened to her.

A hand appeared in her vision, seconds before she began screaming- yanked out from her hiding spot.

Sesshoumaru's dispassionate, glowing eyes gleamed brightly in the sunlight filtering down from high tree branches. Kagome slowly stopped struggling, held aloft by an iron grip curled into the front of her ruined school uniform.

His nostrils flared, attention roving over her. Cruel lips parted, breathing out a single name with a soft utterance;

"Inuyasha. This was his doing, was it not?"

Tears swamped her vision, making everything blurry. A poor time to let it happen, considering the situation. She shouldn't have dropped her guard. This was the Killing Perfection, an enemy. But Kagome couldn't fight anymore, and truthfully the rationale side of her had been seeking him out, hoping for a chance encounter.

When he released her to stumble back into the shallow current, Kagome let the tears flow free. She sank down tiredly to her knees, bowing her head.

"P-please…"

Silence met her wobbly plea. Kagome ignored it, swallowing thickly and choking on a sob as she lifted Shippo's body out to him, supporting his small head. "Please, revive him."

She didn't know the demon lord well enough to understand what emotion flitted over such controlled, stoic features. He gazed at the fox kit's broken body, barely held together. Claw marks had gouged through sinew and bone. It was a credit to the miko's caring nature that the child hadn't been jostled enough to fall apart in her hands.

Golden eyes slid to Tenseiga, lingering. Grim understanding seemed to dawn on his face after a prolonged silence.

"What is it?" she demanded, chest heaving. She didn't like that look. She'd rather he look at her with complete disgust or annoyance, as he'd done so before. Anything would've been better than the blemish of almost...pity simmering beneath his steady gaze.

"I cannot do what you ask."

Blue eyes flew wide. Terror gripped her throat. "W-what? Why not?!"

"Tenseiga does not stir."

"Then stir it!" Kagome snapped, rising to her feet unsteadily and feeling water drip down her body. "I crossed miles! I barely rested! You don't know what I had to do just to keep holding him!" she burst, tears flowing down her cheeks. It was a marvel she had any left to shed. "What do you want?! If it's Tetsusaiga, I left it behind, but I can show you where it is. I'll do anything!"

He considered her for a moment dispassionately, "miles? How many days has it been since you fled?"

"... A few days, I think?"

He cut through her with words swifter and deadlier than any blade. "Then it appears this useless heirloom has a time limit," gripping the blade and wrenching it free from its sheath, he considered the silent metal grimly, his voice a soft, cruel caress on her frazzled nerves. "It does not stir, miko."

Kagome stared at the sword she'd rested the last of her hopes on. After sprinting so far with barely any rest and relying on pure adrenaline alone, she felt herself weaken. He may as well have delivered a swift blow to her stomach. It probably would've hurt less.

Collapsing in on herself and staring ahead uncomprehendingly, Shippo's dead weight felt like a heavy stone in her hands.

Kagome slumped onto her side within the water, clutching the lifeless carcass of her dear friend all the while.

She became unconscious to everything, as though drugged with a deep, visceral brand of complete and utter despair, content to turn her face into the cool current.

Sensations slid over her meaninglessly as Sesshoumaru plucked her from the water with a single arm after putting Tenseiga away. He held her against him expressionlessly and coiled an orb of pure energy around them, taking to the air.


	2. Chapter 2

Tenseiga had a time limit.

Sesshoumaru hadn't had cause to care about such a minor detail. The blade was useless to him either way- though it had served to bring back Jaken and the girl from death. Both small, inconsequential lives to the demon lord, he assured himself.

However, an infinitesimal part of him flickered in the wake of the miko's screaming. Guilt, perhaps? No, he had nothing to do with the situation at hand. Sadness? Such a thing made no sense since he had no connection to the miko and fox kit.

Kagome's strained cries died down into pathetic sobs, held within Rin's tiny embrace. Watery blue eyes stared up at him unseeingly as she clung to the child like a lifeline. Rin cooed and stroked her hair, clearly out of her depth and brimming with sadness. None knew how to deal with the situation as the miko fell apart. The potent scent of salt saturated the air of the clearing they'd settled in.

Ah, if he were a benevolent demon, he'd perhaps be feeling regret.

Regret that he hadn't gotten there sooner.

Kagome choked on a sob, keening, animalistic noises dying down. Eventually she cried with dry, heaving sounds. Her body shook violently, rocking itself slightly.

Sesshoumaru stared, feeling the faint flicker again. It was beneath him to admit to such sentiments.

He turned his back on the group, padding away and hearing Jaken waddle after him. Ah-Un lingered close to the girls, mane bristling.

Sesshoumaru wandered to some bushes where he'd set the body of the kit down. He hadn't thought it wise to let Rin see it. After slumping into sleep- or was it unconsciousness?- during the flight, Kagome had rested for hours, only to wake with distress upon noticing the broken child missing.

"What are you going to do, mi Lord?" Jaken inquired, a wince in his tone. "That woman is ridiculously loud with her wailing. She'll attract every demon within the area at this rate! Eh- oh…" he trailed off upon peeking around Sesshoumaru's pant leg and noticing the kit.

"Tenseiga did not work," Sesshoumaru quietly informed him. "Inuyasha lost control of himself, just as Bokuseno said. He lost the ability to distinguish friend from foe." It had happened sooner than expected, he mused. "The miko was lucky to escape with her life," leaning down and picking up the kit carefully, he slanted an unreadable gaze down to his servant. "After she has regained her senses enough, we will make for a human village and leave her there. For now, watch over them."

Jaken squeaked out an affirmative while Sesshoumaru walked away into the gloom of the forest.

It was not the first time he had seen nor held a dead child. Rin hadn't been the first either. That was merely the way of war. When walking the path of bloodshed, such unsavoury sights were not uncommon. He'd often passed by a burning village that humans had decimated in one of their trivial fights and heard the agonised weeping of a mother. Of course, to any onlooker, he appeared to be carved from stone. It was dangerous to let any sentiments or weaknesses slip out.

Yet as Sesshoumaru carried the boy, looking down at his childish features, his jaw ticked. He exhaled slowly.

Shippo looked as though he was merely sleeping. His lashes were a brilliant red, like his hair. His chin was round with youth, fingers tiny. His tail hung limp and lifeless.

_What a waste._

He took Shippo up to an open hill. At the crest, two winding trees twined intimately together, branches lacing like fingers. Sesshoumaru wagered they'd used to be tree youkai who had let out their final sighs of consciousness and retreated into the bark, wrapping around one another in their 'death.'

Kneeling, he set the boy down and withdrew Tokijin. Power scorched out in a single bolt, bursting into the dirt at the base of the two trees to create a sizable hole for a grave.

Sliding the sword back into place at his hip, he stooped to pick up the kit again-

"Wait!"

Sesshoumaru froze as the young woman threw herself atop Shippo, trembling and clutching him close.

"You must lay him to rest, miko," he uttered. "He is already showing signs of-"

"I know!" her voice wavered. "I know…"

Kagome shuddered, shifting to gaze down at the body, stroking red hair back from his face. "You don't have to treat me like some fucking invalid," she hissed lowly, voice breaking. "H-how dare you try to bury him without me? I just needed time to adjust before I said goodbye, don't you get that?" narrow blue eyes snapped upon him, dark circles beneath them. Tears clung to her cheeks, giving them a wet sheen. Sesshoumaru stiffened, struck by the sight.

Though exhausted, bone-weary with rumpled hair and tired limbs, Kagome looked near ready to strike, muscles tense, body poised over her boy. Like a creature. Fierce, weakened and dangerously cornered, with nothing left to lose.

Golden eyes slid away.

Mothers were hard to argue with.


	3. Chapter 3

Since Sesshoumaru had provided her with a simple blue kosode from a market, Kagome wrapped Shippo in her ruined school uniform. After mutely covering over his sweet, boyish face and hugging him close for the last time, she'd reluctantly set him down. The second she had, a fresh wave of loss had rocked through her.

He'd been cremated, rather than buried.

Sesshoumaru, Jaken and the little girl called 'Rin' watched the flames at a distance without comment.

Kagome stood silently on the hilltop. She stayed for many hours until the roar of the fire died down and she was once again left bereft. She then robotically collected the ashes and buried them at the base of the two trees, pushing soil over them with her bare, shaking hands.

Kagome wasn't sure what to do with herself after that. Her priorities that day had boiled down to - bathe, dress, then bury Shippo. Anything else, anything to do with where she should go from there, Kagome simply couldn't compute. She hadn't consciously settled down to sleep yet, having only stolen a few hours of rest earlier. Now her future felt very grey, impossible to think about.

Something soft wrapped around her shoulders, rousing her. Kagome looked up from where she knelt by the grave to see Rin giving a gap-toothed smile.

"Rin found these for you," she offered some berries wrapped in leaves.

Giving a brittle smile, the miko numbly accepted them with thanks and sighed, adjusting the blanket around her. "I'm sorry for crying on you last night. I was a mess," she winced. "I'm Kagome, by the way."

Rin nodded, plopping a berry into her mouth and chewing.

"How long has Sesshoumaru been taking care of you?" Kagome muttered, not able to remember if she'd ever seen him with a tiny kid before. She was fairly sure she hadn't.

"Mnn... maybe a month. Not sure," the little girl shrugged, sitting beside her and looking at the unmarked grave soberly. "It's alright that you cried on Rin. You can do it again, Rin doesn't mind. Losing someone and having no one to hug afterwards just makes it worse."

For the umpteenth time that day, tears pricked Kagome's eyes. She held them back and swallowed thickly, nodding and eating her berries without registering the taste.

"Thank you," the words slipped out in a soft murmur. "I... I lost more than one person. All- all my friends are-" slim shoulders trembled as she choked on the words.

Rin's comforting warmth leaned against her side, murmuring sympathies. Kagome was ashamed to admit that she clung to the seven-year-old for some stability. Some humanity. Lord knows she wouldn't find it in the hellish nightmare of the feudal era, or with the three demons they kept company with.

Still, credit where credit was due... Sesshoumaru had surprised her. He hadn't been completely dismissive of her situation. How long he intended to be charitable remained unclear though.

At that moment, Kagome's purpose for the next few hours became clear. She had something she needed to do. The bitter work wasn't over yet.

* * *

"I need to bury my other friends."

Sesshoumaru glanced at her, unruffled. He sat at the base of a tree, one elegant hand draped over his knee. "There is no need."

Dusty ire rose in her chest, bogged down by grief and other weighty things. Kagome stared at him tiredly, feeling haggard. "Take me to them, please. If you do, I'll hand over Tetsusaiga."

Golden eyes shifted to the tops of the distant trees where afternoon sunlight touched vibrant green leaves.

Kagome sighed, hugging her arms. "I... I have to go back there."

"Inuyasha still lives."

Her breath caught, panic thrumming through her body. Sesshoumaru's attention slid over her tense muscles with interest. "Knowing this, are you still willing to hand over the sword to me? It is the only thing that could reverse his transformation."

Taking deep gulps of air to calm herself, Kagome ignored the buzzing in her ears. "... I know," the idea was a horrific one to her. "But I couldn't...do that," she grit out weakly, fingers digging into her thick kosode. "He- he wasn't himself. He'd never knowingly do such awful things to his friends. Ever. It would destroy him if he ever found out what he's done."

Sesshoumaru lifted a brow, "so do you intend to let him run wild? As he is, the whelp will likely continue killing until he is brought down."

The words were intended to bait- to inflame her temper. Kagome watched him morosely, too tired to bite back. "I don't know yet," she admitted freely, tone faint. "I have to do something, obviously. That doesn't make it any easier. This… this whole situation is screwed up. I've just been cruising on autopilot for a little while now, doing small things. Let me deal with the graves first."

The demon lord had stared into the empty eyes of wraiths before. It disquieted him to see her elbow-deep in dazed mourning- completely unlike the usually impassioned woman. Attachments always weakened people, he mused with a faint sneer. They drove even the mightiest to their knees.

Rising, he instructed Jaken and Ah-Un to watch over Rin again, before turning and smoothly leaving their little campsite. Kagome followed, folding her arms. She didn't know what to do with them anymore now that they weren't holding anything.

When they were far enough away, a single arm curled around her waist. Kagome allowed herself to be drawn in close, latching onto his armour and bracing herself as clouds formed at their feet, solidifying. Ascending into the air should've been a magical or awe-inspiring experience. Kagome barely paid attention to it, instead looking over his shoulder at the twin trees laced together that shrank into the distance the more ground they covered.

"I'm surprised Naraku hasn't come to gloat," she observed dryly.

"Hn, not for lack of trying."

That caught her attention.

Blue eyes snapped to the quiet demon. Silver hair cascaded around them, tickling her cheek. She opened her mouth to ask him to elaborate, but realisation made the impulse fade. Sesshoumaru had been destroying Naraku's puppets without her knowledge- and for good reason. He'd kept the evil hanyou away, unwilling to let him breathe a word of his poisonous, evil sentiments to her.

The consideration was strangely… touching. Unexpected, from one usually so cold.

Her fingers tightened on the metal plating of his armour.

"Thank you," she said. "And I-I wanted to apologise for snapping at you earlier. I just needed-"

"Be silent."

"E-excuse me?"

Burning golden eyes slanted down to meet her gaze. "The kit was your kin. It was not my place to interfere. That is all I will say on the matter."

Kagome stared, slowly lowering her head. Resting her chin on his chest armour, the miko breathed out shakily. She then chuckled weakly.

"Is something amusing?"

"Not really," she hummed tiredly. "I just thought that things must be _really_ screwed up if the Great Lord Sesshoumaru is being so considerate."

"Hn, I was merely sparing myself a headache. Do not get used to it."

Kagome closed her eyes. _Of course not._


	4. Chapter 4

The flight felt long despite Sesshoumaru moving at a fast pace. Kagome stared at the passing scenery with a blank expression, dark hair whipping back to dance in the breeze. His arm felt tight and slightly uncomfortable around her waist. The air chilled prickling skin and dyed her nose and cheeks red.

She didn't complain once. There was a muted relief in the bite of chilly wind attacking her skin, a grounded feeling in being held so tightly against hard, unforgiving armour even as his fur pelt brushed against her hip. These were the things that made Kagome remember her body could still feel while her mind imprisoned her. Sometimes there was nothing to occupy her thoughts, others- she'd think for a long time about the two trees they'd left behind.

Absolutely all of her energy went into _not_ thinking about Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru wasn't much of a conversationalist, but this didn't surprise her.

"You are too quiet."

Kagome blinked, surprised. How unusual. "It's not like I have much to talk about. Besides... I didn't think there was anything we could discuss. I'd just end up giving you a headache, right?" she snarked without any energy put into it.

His jaw shifted, as though testing the words he was about to speak. "It is in your nature to be a blabbermouth. Going against what's expected is also irritating. I braced myself needlessly for your chatter."

Kagome arched a brow, gazing at the river winding below. She wondered if it was the same one Sesshoumaru had found her in.

"What do you want me to talk about?" she asked listlessly.

The demon fell silent, causing Kagome to finally raise her head and look at him. Sesshoumaru had pristine features. High cheekbones, firm jaw and a nose that was slender and regal with elegant thin lips to boot. However, it was his cutting tawny gaze that made her tense. The golden hue of his irises reminded her of someone else. Someone previously held dear.

His handsome mouth pulled down at the corner. He broke eye contact, redirecting his stare to look ahead. "Forget it, foolish girl."

* * *

Dread tightened her stomach into a fierce knot the second they touched down at the border of some familiar trees. She recognised some flecks of blood dotting leaves- evidence left behind of Shippo's broken body that she'd cradled close in their escape.

Sesshoumaru's sturdy grip fell away from her waist, but Kagome was not so quick to let go.

Taking a few steadying breaths and avoiding his intense stare, frozen fingers stiffly plucked themselves off his armour. Kagome turned, belly churning as she walked out slowly from the safety of the shade and onto the flat stretch of no man's land.

Her loafers scuffed on dry earth, halting almost immediately.

This wasn't right. This wasn't how she'd left them.

Kagome broke into a run, heart thundering. Blue eyes widened as she skidded to a stop at the lip of a massive crater embedded fairly deep into the ground. Loose flecks of dirt crumbled at her toes, rolling down its steep incline into the base of the huge hole.

"Where?-" Kagome looked around frantically. "They were right _here_ ," she breathed. A mad thought entered her mind, leaving her lips before she could stop herself. "M-maybe they're alive?"

Her head turned towards Sesshoumaru for confirmation, for encouragement. Anything. His blank features and cripplingly honest, direct gaze cut through her ridiculous, fanciful thought before it could give her false hope.

Her heart clenched. She'd witnessed them be slaughtered with her own eyes. Of course it was impossible.

_Then what…_

Understanding slowly dawning on her features.

The wind tunnel.

It must have activated upon Miroku's death, sucking in his body and everyone else's along with it. There was no blood. No mess. No Sango or Kirara to bury.

They were gone. All gone.

Collapsing to her knees, Kagome stared down at their impromptu gravesite. Her body quivered. She wasn't sure what to think or feel. This was always going to be difficult. However, there was something to be said for the control she'd felt over laying Shippo to rest. To be denied something so personal sent a fresh wave of loss through her frayed system.

The crunch of boots on dirt dimly alerted her to Sesshoumaru's presence nearby. His attention lay elsewhere.

"Those bodies," he uttered, looking at the crumpled forms of men and horses that appeared to have been cleaved open. The clearing stank of rotten meat. "Who were they?"

Kagome closed her eyes, rubbing a hand over her face and trying to piece herself enough together to answer. The tears wouldn't come, and it made her feel nonsensically guilty. Wasn't she sad? Weren't there any left to shed? Couldn't she do that much for her dear friends after failing at everything else?

"Bandits," she croaked. "It's their fault Inuyasha's demon blood awoke in the first place."

Sesshoumaru hummed, sharp eyes straying down to her crumpled form. "Curiously, it appears the sword was not sucked into the Monk's Wind Tunnel."

Kagome roused herself. Right. The damn sword.

Stiffly picking herself up to stand, she gazed morosely at the slanted ground spilling down to the centre of Miroku's crater. Tetsusaiga's raggedy hilt stuck out of the dirt, rusty blade thrust in.

The thought of stepping foot into the hole made her stomach turn.

 _'Can't you go get it?'_ she almost asked, but stifled herself. Sesshoumaru had made good on his word and brought her this far, she needed to fulfil her end.

Stepping down gingerly onto uneven ground, Kagome wobbled and swayed- an iron grip closing around her arm.

"Thanks," she mumbled, feeling herself be steadied.

"Hn."

Sesshoumaru released her, the heat of his palm lingering like the shock of a sudden burn. Kagome focused on it as she stepped carefully towards the sword, leaving footprints in her wake.

Upon reaching it, Kagome grasped the hilt and tugged it free, wiping some dirt away from the blade. While doing so, her attention strayed. Another set of footprints seemed to have approached the sword earlier, taking a different path down the wind tunnel's crater.

Mixed emotions slammed into her gut, constricting her lungs.

Inuyasha. Had he returned to his senses and used the sword? A plethora of various awful scenarios flitted through Kagome's thoughts; her friend's agonised scream upon realising what he'd done- his fear, his worry and confusion.

But they all fizzled out as she forced herself to pay attention. The unknown person clearly wore shoes. What's more, their tracks began a little further away from the sword and vanished upon reaching it. Someone had jumped in and out of the hole very neatly. Almost like they'd glided in.

Kagome's eyes widened, swinging up to her silent sentinel.

Sesshoumaru stared down at her. Lithe fingers curled loosely into his palm.

_"I need to bury my other friends."_

_Sesshoumaru glanced at her, unruffled. "There is no need."_

He'd investigated the gravesite long before she'd even thought to. Swallowing thickly, Kagome climbed back up to the lip of the hole, standing on even ground again.

"You still can't touch the sword," she muttered. A statement, not a question.

Sesshoumaru didn't answer, claws twitching a little deeper into his palm.

Kagome raised her head, securing the old sword against her side with the use of her obi. "I'll carry it back for you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thank you to those of you who gave this story a chance despite the angst! I've managed to post so many chapters in a row because I've had a week off work. I hope that by keeping these chapters short (around 1,000 words) I can feel motivated to work on this fairly often ^^

After retrieving her backpack from the bushes where it had been discarded many days ago, Kagome set it down and adjusted her kosode to kneel. Placing down a handful of wildflowers she'd scrounged from the outskirts of the clearing, she put her hands together in prayer, looking down at the crater with misty eyes.

"I hope that… wherever you are, you find peace," she murmured. "I…"

Falling silent, Kagome bit her lip. What more could she say? _'Don't worry, I'll avenge you?'_ They wouldn't have wanted that vow.

Could she even promise to kill Naraku for Miroku, or save Kohaku for Sango? Unite the jewel shards and wish the foul thing away for good? She had a responsibility to do so, but after everything that had happened, Kagome couldn't visualize herself emerging triumphant in any scenario.

All of it was too much to contemplate right then. Returning home also loomed as an overbearing and intimidating thought in her mind. Going back to normalcy and acting like everything was fine sounded painful. No one would understand. She'd be forced to push all of her experiences in the Feudal era down into a neat and tidy box, never to touch again.

Once again, Kagome found herself cast adrift. Her friends couldn't be buried, but she'd laid them to rest as best she could. So now what?

"I'm sorry I couldn't save Shippo," the words slipped out in a soft mumble. Kagome dropped her hands, loosely curling her fingers into the dirt at her feet. "And I'm sorry I couldn't give the Tetsusaiga to Inuyasha when he really n-needed it," an ugly emotion bloated her throat, forcing tears to sting her lashes. "If I'd forced it into his hands- maybe none of this would've happened. Please forgive me," she shuddered, choking on a sob.

"Miko."

Kagome swallowed and bit back a whimper. Wiping weary eyes, she stood a little unsteadily.

"We are leaving now," Sesshoumaru said in clear tones, standing further away. It seemed his tolerance had worn thin.

Nodding without facing him, Kagome drank in the grim sight of her beloved friend's final resting place one last time. It would occupy the same place in her thoughts as the two winding trees.

Brushing Tetsusaiga absentmindedly with her fingers, the Shikon miko turned on her heel and met Sesshoumaru's gaze. Her steps were heavy as she walked away, joining his side. Latching onto his armour again, she allowed herself to be drawn against his side.

Sesshoumaru's arm felt sturdy at the curve of her hip, large hand resting over her navel. It should have been disconcerting to have claws splayed over any part of her, but Kagome curiously relaxed in his hold. The 'Killing Perfection' didn't make mistakes when it came to maiming. If he wanted to hurt her, he would've.

When they took flight, she noted how long deadly fingers tucked themselves in towards his palms, preventing injury to her person when an air current swayed her forward.

Kagome shifted to look over his shoulder, watching the crater shrink in size as they flew away. Her lips thinned, glancing at the demon's cold, aristocratic features.

"... Rin is very sweet," she said tonelessly. "She seems used to the wilderness and stuff from what I could gather."

He blinked, appearing thrown for a moment. His features then schooled into passive interest.

"Hn."

"Oh come on, you can't ask me to talk and then not reciprocate. Otherwise I'm just blathering to myself."

Glowing golden eyes pinned her in place, roving over the contours of her face. His slit pupils were more defined than Inuyasha's, Kagome noticed. Thinner, and more animalistic, cutting sharply down his irises.

"She is none of your concern," he uttered flatly.

"I know," Kagome nodded. "So I won't ask how she came to be in your group."

A thin brow arched, attention gliding to the scenery. "Feeling curious, miko?"

"Only a little. I think I can fill in the blanks fairly well."

His lip lifted into a faint sneer, "that so?"

Kagome adjusted against him, resting back against the billowing and surprisingly sturdy fur wrapped over his broad shoulder. She began ticking her guesses off her fingers, "she's an orphan. You probably saved her, inadvertently, I assume. She looks up to you and that's why she refers to herself in the third person- because she's replicating your speech."

"My _speech?_ "

"Yeah, when you're feeling particularly haughty, you slip into doing that too."

He scoffed, frown deepening. "This Sesshoumaru does no such thing."

The silence that followed was deafening.

His burning gaze narrowed, daring a response, fingers shifting on her abdomen as a reminder of her precarious position.

Very faintly, Kagome's lips tugged up a little at the corners, gone as quickly as it had come. Sesshoumaru caught it and silently let it pass by unacknowledged.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The beginning scene is from episode 52 but with slightly altered events. I've often wondered what would've happened if Sesshoumaru hadn't shown up.
> 
> Warning: some gore

_"Don't do it, Inuyasha! They're begging for their lives!"_

_It was a little late in the carnage to start pleading- the bodies of bandits already lying scattered and eviscerated across dead, scorched earth. But now there were just three left on their knees, begging the hanyou to spare them. Kagome couldn't help but run forward upon seeing the men surrender, laying down their weapons._

_Glowing crimson eyes narrowed, Inuyasha staring down at the men. Raising bloodstained claws without a blip of humanity upon his face, a gravelly sound escaped him, bringing her up short. The miko stopped dead, a funny feeling in her chest._

_Thick fangs protruded wider from his mouth as Inuyasha's lips curved._

_"It seems not even you can get through to him," Miroku said quietly. Her friends were a welcome presence at her side. She could practically hear Sango's boots shift, slowly readying her weapon._

_The noise came again, amused, deep and heinously indulgent._

_'H-he's laughing,' Kagome's breath halted. 'He's about to slaughter these men and he's laughing.'_

_A weight jostled her shoulder, Shippo having jumped onto her arm._

_"Quick Kagome, give the Tetsusaiga to Inuyasha and he'll return to normal!" his voice raised with distress, tail puffing up. "I can't stand to see what he's turned into…"_

_Getting ahold of herself, Kagome nodded. She started moving again, trying not to jostle the kit from his perch. Pale fingers tightened around the sword's hilt, knuckles bleeding white as she approached. Her heart leapt into her throat as Inuyasha raised his claws higher in preparation._

_"Inuyasha! Take the Tetsusaiga!" she burst, trying to get his attention, halt his attack, "return to your old self! Please!"_

_Her words fell on deaf ears. She wasn't sure he could even understand the human tongue anymore._

_Inuyasha snarled and struck sharp talons down, cleaving a man across the face and unhinging his jaw._

_The hanyou burst into throaty laughter, eyes gleaming- striking his freshly soaked claws into a second bandit's neck and gripping- ripping out his bloody windpipe._

_Kagome skidded to a stop just behind the men, far too close for comfort. Her knees shook. Blue eyes widened, staring, drinking in every horrific detail. Shippo gaped from her shoulder._

_Inuyasha thrust a hand into the remaining man's gut and wretched, removing something vital with a wet, sickening sound and dropping it to the floor carelessly._

_Blunt teeth chattered. Her lips trembled. Kagome ceased to function for a moment, existing in her own sphere of terror that prey knew intimately well._

_Her dear friend, her possible first love, lifted his head. Inuyasha looked right at her, and the shock of being 'seen' by him was no longer a welcome, comforting thing. Nausea mingled with horror in her stomach as she came to a disturbingly calm revelation._

_His hunger had not been sufficiently sated. The bloodshed would not be stopping._

_Inuyasha's upper fangs hooked over his lower lip, mouth parting to let out a low, simmering snarl. He smirked widely._

_'Your turn' he seemed to say._

* * *

"Stop! Please stop, Inuyasha!"

Thrashing about on the ground with a thin cover twisted about long legs, sweat beaded and rolled down throbbing temples. Breathing rapidly, Kagome's chest heaved, heart thundering too fast in her ribcage. Sucking in a sharp breath, her back arched- a wailing, piercing scream spilling from her throat into the dark clearing.

Rin immediately moved to her side, brows drawing together. "Kagome? I-it's alright, you're safe! No one will hurt you here."

Bursting into tears, Kagome panted, choking on a sob in her sleep and whimpering nonsense. She tossed and turned with violent scrambles, fingers clawing. Her legs continued to kick as though running, her head throwing itself back to slam into the ground. Gasping with alarm, Rin tried to stop her, laying both hands on her shoulders with the intent of holding her still.

Kagome flinched and threw an arm out. _"DON'T TOUCH ME!"_

A large hand abruptly snatched her wrist mid-air, claws biting shallowly into slick skin.

Snapping awake, Kagome bolted upright, finding herself drenched in sweat. She panted heavily, blinking. Looking up dazedly into Sesshoumaru's hooded eyes, she wet her lips and tried to speak, throat throbbing.

"Se-Sesshoumaru? What-" trailing off, she noticed her hand hovering inches away from Rin's face. The little girl stared, cowering a little against the stoic demon lord who crouched close.

Understanding slowly dawned on Kagome's drained features. She quivered at the implication, head bowing. "I... I'm so sorry," a fresh plume of distress fanned into her scent, causing Sesshoumaru to carefully mind his claws away.

Once released, Kagome buried her face in her hands, shuddering. "Did- did I hurt you, Rin?"

Shifting away from Sesshoumaru slightly, the girl bit her lip, shaking her head. "Rin is alright…"

Drawing in on herself, Kagome continued softly murmuring apologies, haggard lines beneath her eyes seeming to deepen.

Rin inched closer, watching, mindful this time. "Don't blame yourself, Rin gets scary dreams sometimes too. Kagome is a nice lady. You wouldn't hurt Rin knowingly."

Shuddering harder, the young woman sniffed, opening her arm tentatively.

Immediately forgiving her in the form of an embrace, Rin hugged her tight, heedless of the sweat, snot and tears. Kagome gratefully swept Rin up into her lap, cradling the child close and burying her face in wild brown hair.

"For the remainder of the miko's stay with us, do not touch her if she should experience that again, Rin."

"Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru," Rin gave a muffled affirmative.

Drawing himself up, Sesshoumaru stood and let the two humans be. He returned to his previous position reclined at the base of a tall tree, keeping quiet vigilance over his group.


	7. Chapter 7

She _adored_ baths. An undisputed fact about Kagome Higurashi was that she loved hot springs, pampering herself with cosmetics, moisturiser, spa days and maintained her personal hygiene with a sense of pride and enthusiasm.

So it felt somewhat strange to wake up that morning and not have the inclination to even wash her face, never mind brush her teeth.

Rin happened to peer over her shoulder while Kagome rooted through her backpack, pointing out the little brush.

Smiling tiredly, Kagome had guided her to a nearby river, coating the bristles in white toothpaste and going through the motions of teeth brushing robotically. Luckily, she had a spare. Rin seemed delighted about the entire thing, finding the minty taste heavenly.

"Can Rin keep this?" she asked, clutching the baby pink toothbrush like it were a priceless treasure.

Kagome reached out- ruffling her hair. "Sure thing," she said, noting the knotted locks beneath her palm. "Want me to help you out with untangling this?"

Nodding happily, Rin sat upon a smooth flat stone by the river while Kagome took a brush to the bird's nest.

Jaken eventually found them, glowering and raising his voice to a headache-inducing level, "would you two quit dawdling! It's already late in the morning! We're wasting daylight and Lord Sesshoumaru is impatient to leave!"

Kagome finished up tying Rin's hair into her signature style, rolling her eyes. "Maybe he should set aside 10 minutes every morning to help Rin with her hair so that this situation doesn't happen again," she muttered, patting the girl's shoulders and standing.

"Impudent girl! Lord Sesshoumaru is far too busy for such things!"

Frowning, Kagome started a little when Rin took her hand easily. It was small, grip gentle.

Pushing through the wave of nostalgia and sadness, Kagome squeezed it and followed the imp. "Well then, why can't _you_ do it."

"Humph! As mi lord's esteemed retainer, I am also too busy for such things! Besides, Rin doesn't have a comb."

"Oh, Rin does," Rin spoke up, reaching into the fold of her colourful clothing and bringing it out. It looked sleek and sturdy, made from ivory. Small intricate details sprawled over it. Kagome wagered it would be worth something.

Jaken hummed and hawed at the sight of it, "not bad for a human comb, I suppose."

"It's beautiful, Rin," Kagome agreed. "Why don't you use it, though?"

Warm brown eyes dimmed, clutching the comb a little closer. "Mama gave it to me. It's the only thing Rin has left of her. Too scared it'll be stolen or lost if it's used," she mumbled.

Kagome softened and squeezed her tiny hand, reaching their 'campsite' which only consisted of a single fire.

Sesshoumaru awaited them at the border of the trees, Ah-Un saddled up and ready to go. The second they caught sight of the demon lord, he turned and began walking away, silver hair trailing out behind him. Jaken scrambled to keep up.

Kagome and Rin jogged to shorten the distance but hung back together. For a powerful demon, his pace was akin to a leisurely stroll. It was nothing like Inuyasha's.

"I figured you'd lost people before, judging by how you were talking to me the other day," Kagome murmured, gauging Rin's reaction.

"Mhm, my Mama, Papa and two brothers were killed by bandits a few months ago. Rin was all alone until Lord Sesshoumaru let me follow him," she gave a gap-toothed smile. "Maybe you could…"

"Rin, stop your blabbering!" Jaken piped up. "We're heading towards a steep hill so you'd best climb onto Ah-Un or we will leave you should you fall behind!"

"Alright!~" with a parting grin, Rin hurried up front, scrambling atop the two-headed dragon.

Kagome wasn't sure what she was about to say, but could hazard a guess. Staying with Sesshoumaru seemed… unlikely to happen. Then again, she'd never have imagined casually walking with his group at midday. Glancing at Tetsusaiga, Kagome lay a hand over it at her side.

Truthfully, she didn't know their destination or plan for the day. She didn't much care. They needed to decide what to do about Inuyasha. Kagome knew that.

_But…_

Her heart clenched tight, a constricting, heavy thing weighing down her chest.

* * *

They walked until late afternoon, when suddenly as easily as they'd begun, Sesshoumaru stopped amidst some tall trees.

"Jaken, you will remain here with Rin and Ah-Un."

Wilting, Jaken sighed but dutifully nodded. "Yes, mi Lord," he grumbled sourly.

Kagome stiffened when golden eyes slid her way. Sesshoumaru then continued walking, "come, miko."

Feeling like she had little choice in the matter, Kagome waved in passing to Rin before lengthening her strides to catch up with him.

Kagome thought to make conversation again while they walked, biting her lip and mulling over what to say.

"Where are we going?" sounded like a good place to start.

"Elsewhere."

Blue eyes flattened. No kidding. Well, if he wanted to play it that way. Kagome crossed her arms, lips thinning.

It took about five minutes before he broke the silence.

"... Where do you hail from, girl?"

Kagome inwardly smiled. Despite his taciturn nature, it appeared Sesshoumaru found idle chatter favourable to silences. She wondered if it was because of Jaken and Rin's influence. "Elsewhere."

A disgruntled noise sounded out from upfront, too dignified to be a snort but close enough.

* * *

They arrived at the crest of a steep hill. Jagged rocks littered a path down towards a fairly large village hugging the coastline. Salty sea air reached them, a welcome, refreshing breeze.

Kagome adjusted her backpack, still feeling somewhat naked without a bow and arrow.

"What are we here for?"

Sesshoumaru continued gazing at the scenery, "regardless of where you hail from, miko, it is not here. Nor anywhere close. This one gathered that much from your strange attire. Regardless, you should return there. The people of that village will assist you."

Kagome clicked, "you're… ditching me."

He glanced at her, clearly unfamiliar with the term but guessing her meaning. "You do not belong here. Remaining is clearly painful. Your usefulness to me has met its end," his tone brook no argument. "Set Tetsusaiga down and leave now."

Kagome shifted, attention straying to the seaside village. She had no idea where she was, but surely someone would know of Kaede's village, previously home to the legendary Kikyo. Reaching the Bone Eater's Well wasn't unrealistic.

She understood his line of reasoning. It made sense to go home, put everything behind her and try to heal as best she could.

Kagome rested a hand on Tetsusaiga, gripping it tight.

She met his gaze, blue clashing with gold.

"No."


	8. Chapter 8

Sesshoumaru stopped, a peculiar feeling rising in his throat.

_No?_

He hadn't heard that word in a while, especially not directed at him. Sizing up the scrawny, foolish miko, he tilted his chin up. "What was that?"

"You heard me perfectly well, I'm not leaving," Kagome said firmly. "We haven't even discussed Inuyasha yet. What do you plan on doing about him?"

Sesshoumaru's jaw ticked. "This one will kill him," he stated easily, expecting her to whimper.

Kagome rolled her eyes, "riiight, just like the last few times you've tried to kill him. I'm sure you'll be successful now. Fifth times the charm."

The thing in his throat spilt forth as a low warning growl, the fur of his pelt bristling. His blood heated in much the same way it had when she'd shot an arrow at him, shattering his armour.

He took a step closer, "believe me, miko, if I had been serious about killing my useless half breed brother, he would be dead by now."

"You seemed pretty serious," she mumbled, "what with all those times you yelled _'Die!'_ at him."

"That is quite typical sibling behaviour, so I have heard," Sesshoumaru dismissed. "I sought to obtain the sword. That is all."

"And beating him up was…?"

Sesshoumaru's lips twitched, "side benefits," he hummed, smirking as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Regardless, I see no other outcome for him than his death now."

Kagome wilted like a flower, but straightened her spine soon after. "Maybe. Or maybe he can be subdued."

"You are talking as though you wish him to live. Do you not despise him?"

Anxiety and other ugly scents arose in her scent, clinging to her like a second skin. They did not suit her. "I feel… scared, sad and conflicted when I think of him. I hate that feral person who killed my friends. But Inuyasha is still in there. It's because of him I'm torn," she murmured, hugging Tetsusaiga close to her. "Either way, no matter what happens to him… I'll be there."

Sesshoumaru hummed, sweeping a critical gaze down her form. The way her voice thinned made him wager she was picturing the whelp's death. She had seen her comrades die, the memory of it weighing her down. Despite the nightmares and sleepless nights that awaited her because of it, she was willing to witness one more, not out of vengeance, but compassion, duty.

Tawny eyes narrowed, "and you wish to travel with me to do this?"

Kagome winced, "I kind of need to do a whole lot more than that. There's also Naraku and the jewel shards to take care of."

"Ah, Naraku," Sesshoumaru's tone dipped into one of disinterest.

She seemed to pick up on it, "don't you want to help me fight him?"

"This Sesshoumaru has no interest in doing so," inspecting flawless nails, he allowed his expression to slacken with boredom.

Kagome sputtered in a way he found amusing, "what? But you defended me against his puppets-"

"To save myself from a headache," he helpfully reminded her.

"He's _evil!_ "

"An irritant, certainly."

"H-he's a strong opponent!"

"A crafty and audacious creature, but strong? I have seen no proof of that."

Kagome groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Fine. I'll defeat him by myself after dealing with the Inuyasha thing, since you're too scared to."

"Do not try to bait me with such childish methods, miko," his lips curved, taking another step closer to her. Claws elongated into sharp points reminiscent of talons, reaching.

Kagome became still as he grasped her chin, looking into her deep blue eyes. "You say you hate 'that feral person' who killed your friends, but that person was merely consumed by demon blood. At that moment, Inuyasha was more demon than ever. And yet you seek to travel with _me_ , a Daiyoukai," he purred in silken tones. His ears twitched, picking up the sharp inhale sucked through her teeth as his eyes bled into glowing crimson. "Do you think it wise?" his voice deepened, rolling out as a soft hiss.

Kagome swallowed, trembling slightly. Fear muddied her natural smell, souring it, and he felt satisfied that she'd leave now- until a hand closed over his fingers.

Sesshoumaru stiffened, instincts halting and focusing on the steady grip.

Kagome met his gaze unflinchingly despite her telltale scent.

"The difference is that I know you can control it, even in true form. You're too proud to let it roam freely and cause chaos, too above it- right?" she muttered. "Please don't try to bait me with such childish methods."

Sesshoumaru's lips peeled back, exposing his fangs. He thought to blur away with his superior speed and leave her, but that would only prove her point.

_Vexing, irritating woman._

Sesshoumaru adjusted his grip, trailing a clawed thumb lightly over her jaw. Kagome remained still, silent and watchful with a control he did not previously think her capable of.

Curious, that fear hindered her and yet she did not let it rule her.

Releasing her, Sesshoumaru tilted his head, ghosting that same thumb over his thin lips.

"Hn."

Her heartbeat thundered in his ears, but Sesshoumaru did not call attention to it. "You may join my group, miko. However, you will allow me to utilise you."

Kagome gave a conflicted expression, shoulders falling with relief. "Utilise how?"

"Inuyasha did not make use of you. This one will craft you into something beneficial. I will not allow you to be idle like Rin."

She nodded after a moment of consideration, relief and anticipation replacing her previous sour scent. Sesshoumaru supposed he did not find it unpleasant.


	9. Chapter 9

Rare was the day that Kagome found a hot spring she considered just the right temperature. Not blisteringly hot, but warm, soothing, perfect for relaxing aching muscles.

By the time they'd rejoined Jaken and the rest of the group, Rin had already fallen asleep. Pity there was no one to share the water with. Kagome couldn't remember the last time she'd bathed alone in the feudal era. Without Sango to converse with or Shippo's lively chatter, the silence roared loudly. Loneliness affected her enjoyment.

Sesshoumaru had informed her they'd reach his… acquaintance, who crafted weapons in the morning. Strange he hesitated over the word.

Sighing, she lazily trailed some water over her neck, chest and arms to wash away foamy soap suds. Reaching for her shampoo, Kagome lathered it into her hair, groaning like it was something luxurious rather than a cheap product.

Perhaps she should be a bit more wary, bathing alone. Sesshoumaru didn't strike her as the type to protect a maiden's modesty from leering eyes.

Randomly the thought of him perving on her came to mind. Kagome smiled wryly, doing a poor imitation of his voice: "this one is above such lowly things," she grunted, smile disappearing as she glanced up at the moon.

_I wonder when I can go home for a brief visit._

She hadn't wanted to bring it up, since Sesshoumaru had seemed so keen to ditch her. She couldn't give him the excuse. Mama wasn't expecting her back for another week at least. But then after that…

"I suppose I'll be dropping out of school," Kagome mused softly. The idea of it made her feel ashamed. She had no idea how long her quest would take, but there was no way Sesshoumaru would set aside time for her to study.

Once everything was over and done with, either a permanent life in the Feudal era awaited her, or she'd return home with no job prospects.

Maybe instead of embarrassing her family, Kagome Higurashi would just disappear. She'd become a whisper in the school yard.

"Could really do with a hug from Mama right now," Kagome tipped her body back, rinsing dark curling hair in steamy water.

Staring up at overhanging branches and looking past them to the untarnished starry sky, Kagome let out a long breath. Her arms fell to her sides, cool air brushing exposed skin.

"I guess disappearing would be for the best," she mumbled. Dipping her head back, Kagome allowed herself to submerge beneath warm waters. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to bask in the numbness that had she'd been ignoring lately. In truth, it wasn't confidence that had made Kagome speak out against the proud demon earlier, rather a lack of self-preservation. She didn't feel like herself at all.

Holding her breath, she remained still and motionless, face heating from continued exposure to hot water. Her lungs constricted, but she could hold her breath longer. Just a little longer.

Something disturbed the pool- boots crashing down. Kagome's eyes flew open. A hand plunged beneath the surface, finding purchase in her hair, forcibly _tugging._

It pulled a shrieking Kagome to the surface. Coughing, she glared, "what the hell is your problem?!"

Sesshoumaru stooped over her, knees on either side of her legs, black locks twined around his knuckles. Steam curled around his dispassionate face.

"I will not allow you to die after agreeing to become of use to me, miko."

"W-what?"

"I did not think you the type to take your own life. It appears I was wrong."

Kagome fumed, gripping her hair and pulling it free from his single hand.

"I'm not trying to kill myself! I was just laying under the water. Don't you ever do that?"

"No," he sneered.

"Well that's all I was doing!" Blue eyes sparked, brightening with emotion. Sesshoumaru shifted, nostrils flaring as though prying into her scent, seeking deceit. Finding none, he managed to look somewhat annoyed, like he'd miscalculated.

Golden eyes then fell prey to male curiosity, straying downwards to slick pale skin.

Kagome suddenly noticed with unnerving clarity the lack of distance between them. Her cheeks heated, covering her chest with one arm. Silver hair cascaded around them, brushing her ribs. The material of his hakama pants clung to her legs beneath the surface. "How did you know I was under the water, anyway?" she asked suspiciously. "Were you spying on me?"

"Ridiculous," he huffed, straightening to his full height and forcibly moving his attention to the edge of the hot springs like it were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. "This one has superior hearing. I noticed the extended pause in your breathing."

Kagome drew her knees up and together. "Oh," her lips pressed into a thin line. If that were true, he was only being thoughtful. "Uh… thanks for checking up on me, but I'm fine."

"Foolishness," he uttered.

After a pregnant pause, Kagome winced, running a hand through her wet hair. "Could you maybe… leave now? I'm kind of still naked."

Sesshoumaru cut flat, unimpressed eyes upwards to the trees. "Do not flatter yourself. Nothing about you appeals to me, miko."

"Yeah well, that's fine," she dismissed. "I feel the same way."

"What?"

Kagome arched a brow, "I'm just saying, you're not my type."

Sesshoumaru scoffed, flicking wet hair over his shoulder as though he'd never heard anything so preposterous. Stepping out of the pool, he walked away without a second glance.

 _Did I hurt his feelings? He said the same thing to me. Weird guy_ , Kagome frowned.

After finishing up and rising from the pool, she dried using a fluffy towel, soon dressed for bed.

 _Hopefully I won't have a night terror this time_ , she thought, walking back towards camp, guided by the moon and faint flickering of a fire. Passing by another hot spring that she'd deemed too open to bathe in, Kagome stopped.

A muscular back with sharp shoulder blades, tapered waist and bold magenta stripes caught her attention. The exotic markings hugged pale, moonlit skin, silver hair obscuring the full extent of it. Beads of sweat and water vapour rolled down firm thighs.

Slit pupils with rich golden irises found her through the haze of steam licking his form.

Kagome stiffened. Quickly marching herself away, she inwardly cursed the wicked smirk she'd glimpsed upon his stupid, cruel mouth.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: violence, some gore, character death
> 
> AN: I usually keep these kinds of scenes vague enough for you to draw your own conclusions about what happened. In this fic's case though, I feel like you kind of need to see what Kagome witnessed to understand the full extent of her trauma. If you want to skip it though, I understand, feel free to skip to the end of the chapter.

_Bloodied claws flexed wide, the hanyou tensing, bending his knees slightly like he was about to spring. Kagome couldn't move, couldn't look away from his feral gaze._

_Inuyasha snarled and readied himself to leap- a shout startling Kagome out of her reverie._

_"Get down!"_

_Ducking down instinctively, she clutched Shippo close as wind tossed up their hair, something heavy flying over their heads. Hiraikotsu pummeled into Inuyasha, sending him to the ground with a roar of outrage._

_Rising, Kagome heard rapid outfalls, her friends approaching. Instead of hurrying towards them and the safety they'd provide, however- she threw caution to the wind and tried one more time to help Inuyasha. Just one more, she figured. Then there would be no regrets. She could say she tried her best._

_"Kagome, no!"_

_Ignoring Miroku's shout, Kagome grabbed Shippo and tossed him behind her towards Sango to ensure his safety. Reaching Inuyasha's body on the ground- she grabbed his wrist and tried to push Tetsusaiga to his fingers._

_His free hand immediately lunged for her. Shrieking, pure instinct making her raise a hand defensively. Claws clashed against the blade, sending her shooting back, landing hard on her side. Tetsusaiga's sheath glowed, shaking violently and sending ripples of aftershocks running up her arm, turning it to jelly._

_Kagome reeled, eyes wide._

_Inuyasha rose to full height, tossing Sango's weapon aside. Hunger drenched his features, gaze fixated, predatory. Lunging towards her, claws caught sunlight like gleaming knives. Kirara burst in between them with a snarl, intercepting the attack. Her buttercup coloured fur quickly became stained red._

_Sango gave a horrified cry. Kirara's snarl ran into a high keening yowl of pain. Inuyasha tossed her down, lunging his jaws into her neck._

_The rustle of clothing and beads caught Kagome's attention, snapping her gaze to Miroku, who readied his covered hand, hesitating._

_"Miroku…" she said thinly._

_His expression darkened, torn between logic and attachment. Inuyasha dropped a barely conscious Kirara, who transformed into her miniature version, gut cleaved open. The hanyou focused on him, running straight for the monk without restraint, Kirara's blood clinging to his claws._

_Miroku grit his teeth, grip tightening on the prayer beads over his wind tunnel hand again. If he released it, there would be no turning back._

_Inuyasha drew dangerously within range. Panicking, Kagome did the first thing that came to mind._

_"SIT!"_

_Inuyasha slammed into the ground face first._

_For a breathless moment, everything was still. A flicker of hope ignited in Kagome's chest._

_It hurt all the more when he lifted his head, a gurgling snarl vibrating out from his chest. With a yank of his hand- the enchanted beads broke around his neck, scattering like marbles._

_"Sango! I need you to hold him down!" Miroku called, putting his wind tunnel hand down and instead drawing forth some sutras._

_Sango shakily hurried closer, drawing her sword. Unlike Miroku, she didn't hesitate, thrusting the blade into Inuyasha's shoulder from behind and placing a foot between his shoulder blades to keep him down._

_Miroku started murmuring a prayer, the sutras softly glowing blue. They floated and began attaching themselves to Inuyasha's squirming, growling form._

_To her horror, Kagome watched as Inuyasha reached over one shoulder and grabbed Sango's blade that impaled him. It snapped clean in half._

_Shoving Sango off, Inuyasha lept up. Lashing out in a wild frenzy, claws cleaved down the side of Miroku's face._

_Kagome choked on air, slowly forcing herself to stand in a daze._

_It didn't feel real. She was surely lost in a daydream or fantasy. Smooth as silk and with a fluidity that his feral form bellied, Inuyasha moved on from disfigurement to disembowelment. And like a dance, he finished with Miroku and pivoted to Sango. Though she slammed the broken hilt of her sword in his gut- nothing prevented him from thrusting a hand through her chest._

_Kagome didn't know when she let go of Tetsusaiga. It had happened sometime during the nightmare, slipping free of slack fingers. There was only one thing she wanted to hold right then. One person. And he was far too close to danger._

_Shippo's eyes had hazed over, thick tears rolling down his cheeks as he witnessed everything._

_Kagome couldn't call his name, it wasn't possible to talk. Something clogged her throat, making it tight. A wobbly, strained noise escaped her. She broke into a run, heading straight for him._

_Shippo dimly looked over his shoulder, sensing her approach. Fear lit up his gaze, and he rapidly shook his head._

_"N-no! Kagome."_

_Inuyasha snapped his gaze up._

_Kagome's shoes desperately pounded over the earth. "Come to me, Shippo!" She managed to yell. She cursed herself for her lack of bow and arrows._

_Fresh tears leaked down his cheeks, before the fox kit dared to be brave. He bolted towards her on all fours, tail flicking up behind him._

_The robe of the fire rat fluttered like a banner of bloodshed behind him. Kagome yelped but didn't stop. It felt as though she were running head-on into the jaws of the wolf, every fibre of her survival instincts protesting. But her protective streak won out._

_She reached for Shippo. Even if Inuyasha killed both of them, at least they'd die together. Just before all three could collide into carnage, however, Shippo lept, twisting mid-air to face Inuyasha._

_"Foxfire!" he cried._

_Blue fire, bright, brilliant and stronger than it had ever been before burst forth from his palm. Inuyasha cried out in agony as flames consumed his eyes._

_It didn't stop him from savagely whacking his arm down, cleaving into Shippo._

_Kagome caught him mid-fall, hot blood soaking her arms instantly._

_There wasn't time to react. She kept running. Kagome bolted from the horrific stretch of battered, bloody earth in a blind panic._

_"S-Shippo, just hah- hold on," she panted, reaching the trees._

_"Kagome…"_

_"It'll be okay," bringing him closer, Kagome gently cradled him to her chest, trying not to jostle him. "I-I'll get help. Everything will be fine. You're so brave. So, so brave, Shippo."_

_Inuyasha's terrible snarling became faint in distance. This did nothing to assuage her fears._

_"I was… brave?"_

_Her breathing was becoming thin. She stumbled over a stray bush and felt low-hanging branches lash at her face. Inuyasha's snarl rattled around so loud in her head she couldn't tell if it was real or not. Was he close?_

_"Y-yeah, honey. The bravest."_

_Shippo made a strange gurgling noise as though he'd spat up something. "That's… good."_

_Kagome didn't acknowledge it as anything important. She kept talking to him for a while in short bursts, fake assurances and forced enthusiasm on her tongue. It was only when she absolutely had to stop- black spots clouding her swaying vision- that Kagome looked down._

_The fox kit's green eyes remained open but glassy, unseeing. His soft tail hung limp, draped over one of her arms. Blood caked his clothes. Sunlight bathed his sweet, childish face in warm hues, a faint smile touching his mouth._

* * *

Kagome awoke screaming within a firm grip. She immediately lashed out, trying to break free, before heavy, dark energy flooded her system via her senses. It practically choked her. Kagome coughed, hot tears sticking to cold cheeks. Her watery gaze registered pale skin and wobbly magenta stripes.

Why exactly Sesshoumaru loomed so close didn't matter. Kagome latched onto him, burying her face in his bristling fur and sobbing out her heartbreak.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Attempted self-harm

An angry red mark bloomed on the side of Sesshoumaru's face.

Panting, Kagome stared at it after collecting herself. Old tracks from tears clung to her cheeks, having sobbed her heart out. She slowly withdrew her arms from around his shoulders, a wave of guilt, worry and shame rendering her speechless for a moment.

"I hurt you," she said at last in a fragile voice.

Sesshoumaru sat against the base of a tree, drenched in a ghostly pale sheen. Moonlight was their sole light source, making Kagome realise they were away from camp.

He snorted. "Do not flatter yourself. You cannot hurt a demon of my calibre with such weak flailing. In fact, while utilising you, this one shall teach you how to make an adequate fist."

Kagome sniffed, scrubbing at tired eyes. A broken noise escaped her, shoulders shaking. She then let out clumsy, thin laughter that wasn't happy at all, pressing a hand to her face.

"Aren't you angry with me? I don't understand," she giggled, the noise steadily becoming wobbly. "I don't understand anything anymore. Nothing makes sense."

Sesshoumaru watched her quietly, his single arm around her waist. Kagome noticed her position on his lap, legs draped over one of his bent knees. The armour remained, but mokomoko allowed her something comfortable to rest against. Kagome's laughter died down. She looked out morosely at pitch-black shadows that clung to the forest, thwarted from consuming everything by moonlight.

"... There's no one alive who remembers what happened except me," she realised quietly. It added an extra bitter layer to everything. To be alone in that circle of grief. "Have you ever lost someone you loved, Sesshoumaru?"

His body stiffened around her. "Love is a human emotion," he said in clipped tones.

Kagome smiled wryly, lashes sliding shut. "That's not true, since Kirara and Shippo gave their lives for me. Would it be more accurate to say there're no attachments for the Killing Perfection?"

"Hn."

She wasn't sure she believed him.

"Maybe you have the right idea," Kagome brought stiff hands to her chest. Her heart physically ached. She always figured the expression 'heartache' was an exaggeration, but hers clenched like the fingers of grief gripped it tight, digging in blunt nails. "Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much to lose people."

Sesshoumaru tipped his head back against rough bark, eyes remaining open to show he was listening.

"The day they died, I forgot my bow and arrows, left them with my bike. Who knows where that is by now," she chuckled softly, expression sobering. "You'll be pleased to know I was useless. Kirara, Sango, Miroku and even Shippo saved my life while I did nothing for them. I just watched. It disgusts me how little I helped. How powerless I felt. I never want to feel that way again," a shaky breath escaped her. "You can lord it over me and add to your list of things that make humans pathetic. I'm sure you need new material."

"You are rambling tonight, miko."

"Guess so," Kagome said numbly. "Sorry about hitting you."

"It is inconsequential."

"Was I screaming too much in my sleep?"

"Indeed. That is why this one relocated with you."

Nodding, she stayed quite motionless in his hold. Her body held no scars. Inuyasha hadn't laid one finger on her, though not for lack of trying. It somehow made things worse. She couldn't look at any part of herself and know that it was real. That it happened.

Kagome turned to the Daiyoukai suddenly, grabbing his hand at her waist. Energy alighted frantic blue eyes. Sesshoumaru tensed.

"Can you do something for me?" she whispered, gaze shaking. "Use your claws," shifting out from his hold, Kagome brought his hand to her exposed forearm. "If you left a scar… I could look at it… and know I wasn't going mad for remembering such awful things with no proof they ever happened except my friend's absence."

Golden eyes cracked open a fraction wider. Clawed fingers twitched. Kagome gripped them, adjusting the sharp points towards sensitive skin. They ghosted over her pricking flesh, dragging lightly. Kagome began to press the backs of his fingers down.

Sesshoumaru immediately bit her ear.

Kagome gasped at the sharp nip. It was over in a second, but left behind a sharp sting.

She blinked rapidly as his hand drew away.

"You will not be using this one for such things," he uttered stiffly. His expression became lofty, chin tilting up. "Nor will anything other than myself be permitted to mar you, so do not bother attempting to take a knife to your flesh, foolish girl," his flinty tone drifted, becoming something different. Almost wistful. "Memories are memories. If everything left a mark, we would be walking patchwork, miko."

Kagome swallowed, feeling like she'd been slapped. But… in a strangely good way. Like she'd been stuck somewhere else, and now suddenly, there she was. With him.

Sesshoumaru's gaze seared her. Brutal, honest, unflinching.

It looked strong, in the face of uncertainty. Steadfast instead of cruel. Kagome bowed her head, touching her ear. It frightened her on a new level how much she wanted to cling to him again.

"Not so long ago, you wouldn't have minded an excuse to dig your claws into me," Kagome looked at him. "What's changed?"

"Nothing of consequence."

Resting against mokomoko, she sighed.

Sesshoumaru fell silent, slowly returning his palm to the small of her back. "You express disgust with yourself for not being able to save them."

"Yes, for being useless," Kagome glanced up at him.

"You will not be again, miko. That much, this Sesshoumaru guarantees. I will ensure you become a finely tuned blade. Not Tenseiga, nor Tetsusaiga. A new weapon, one I will wield with finesse."

He didn't try to assuage her fears or guilt. Nor did he tell her nothing was her fault. However, his firm, steady words soothed her nerves like the finest melody. It was honey on open wounds.

Kagome believed him. She sincerely believed he'd make good on his word. She would never be in the same position again, and that thought brought fresh tears of relief to her eyes.

Sesshoumaru cut his gaze to the branches above, "humans are capable of producing a staggering amount of tears."

Kagome laughed, a short-lived but genuine thing this time. She wiped them away before they could fall.

"Thank you," she said, nodding. Willing. Because it meant focusing her attention on something that wasn't painful to think about. A mutually beneficial arrangement. "I'll do my best, and I'll… try not to cry anymore."

Her words seemed to throw Sesshoumaru for a loop. He huffed, closing his eyes. "Provided it does not interfere with training, cry if you must, annoying girl."

Kagome tilted her head, running her attention over his sharp angular features.

Since he didn't seem to be in the mood to move them back to camp, Kagome awkwardly settled against him. She hugged her arms close to herself and wondered if she could sleep in such a weird position. Especially against him.

She fell asleep in minutes.

Sesshoumaru's eyes slid open, watching her for a time. He then let snowy lashes drift shut.

No further Night Terrors plagued her that night.


	12. Chapter 12

Arriving at an isolated stone cottage sitting innocently at the base of a huge mountain that late morning, Kagome noted thick smoke billowing out from its chimney. The clang of metal resounded inside.

Sesshoumaru instructed Jaken and the others to await their return, joining her at the covered door.

"Is your 'acquaintance' a blacksmith?"

"Of sorts."

"Why didn't we just go to Totosai?"

Sesshoumaru's brows drew down a touch. Then he smiled. A thrum of warning rattled down Kagome's spine at the sight of it.

"The fool is unwilling to work for me, do you not recall?" he purred silkily, murder clearly on his mind.

She winced, "y-yeah."

"Putting that aside, Totosai only creates swords. For our purposes, we may require more of a selection."

Raising a brow, Kagome followed him. They pushed aside the door covering, both stepping into the building.

A vast array of weapons of all shapes and sizes lined the walls. Some were stuffed inelegantly into holders- staffs crammed in against spears, axes cluttering a box. Some were clearly Japanese, others more inspired by foreign craftsmanship.

Despite such messy organisation, the quality of the weapons was plain to see. Various bows sat in a display unit- elegantly carved runes or characters etched into its upper and lower limbs of wood. The risers were all different; practical, elegant or sturdy. Some bows appeared to be made of sleek silver or shining gold.

Kagome doubted they'd be very practical in battle.

"Hm? Ah, was wondering when you'd stop loitering outside my door, pup."

Straightening, Kagome faced a female demon as she entered from an adjoining room. Dishevelled silver hair had attempted to be tamed back into a messy bun, skin glowing with a healthy tan. Curious eyes gleamed tiger-orange, forearms exposed, muscles big and beefy from likely years of hard work. Though difficult to guess her age, she held the air of a demon much older than Sesshoumaru. She wore a plain but practical yukata that seemed more fitted for a man than a woman. Despite this, Kagome noticed a pretty red Kanzashi nestled within her bun.

Sesshoumaru hummed, "I require a weapon."

The demoness snorted, cleaning her hands on a charcoal stained cloth and tucking it in her obi. "Your conversation skills are as poor as ever."

Kagome made a noise of surprise, stifling a giggle behind her hand. Two pairs of eyes landed on her, attracted by the sound.

Interest piqued, the demoness eased closer. "Well now, this is new-" she reached for Kagome, gaze assessing, calculating. Kagome's attention zeroed in on the unfamiliar claws, flinching back slightly.

Sesshoumaru stepped in between them smoothly. "I require a weapon for her to use, Naoko. I have no need of your curiosity."

She set both hands on her hips, sizing him up with a huff.

"I never thought I'd see the day you were protective of a human, Sesshoumaru. If I sense it right, there's a human girl outside too. Seems you've been busy," sharp teeth flashed. "A customer is a customer, though. Nice to meet you, little human."

"Yeah, same to you," Kagome peered out from behind the demon lord. "I'm Kagome."

"Naoko," she gestured to follow her over to a workbench.

A scroll was rolled out, baring the many weapons to choose from in illustration. Naoko started writing some notes. "What kind of thing are you looking for?"

"Uhh…" Kagome spied her height being written down, wondering what that had to do with anything. She glanced at Sesshoumaru. "I guess a new bow and set of arrows."

"We will take a new weapon as well," he uttered.

"B-but I don't know how to use anything else!"

"That is the point of 'learning' is it not?" Sesshoumaru snorted. "This is your opportunity to not be saddled with one type of means to defend yourself, miko. Archery is useless for close-range combat, something likely to occur."

Kagome groaned, souring because he was completely right.

Naoko looked between the two with mild surprise, eyes dancing. "So how did you two meet?" came the innocent question.

"Oh, um…" Kagome trailed off, perusing some dagger illustrations. "He was trying to kill me?"

"Sounds about right."

"That is incorrect, you were merely in my way. I did not actively seek your destruction," picking up a sword and gauging its weight, Sesshoumaru frowned.

Naoko grinned toothily appearing to be entertained. Kagome caught her eye, equally curious about her. "Can I ask how you know Sesshoumaru?"

 _"Naoko…"_ a faint growl trailed into a low voice.

It went ignored, "I used to serve in his father's army," she smirked. "I was also the little lord's wet nurse shortly after he was born."

Kagome immediately lit up. Sesshoumaru pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Awww!" she cooed. "What was he like?"

"A big baby," Naoko chuckled. "I mean that. He might've slimmed down now, but lemme tell ya, he was a chubby kid for many years. Lots of puppy fat."

Kagome smiled, picturing it and feeling slightly gooey. Sesshoumaru let out a noise of displeasure, marching over and grabbing a chuckling Naoko by the scruff of her clothing, tugging her to the threshold of the adjoining workroom.

The demoness grinned amiably, placing a hand on his left arm- only for the sleeve to gape inwards. Empty.

Something shocked and fragile flickered- cracking open her usually amiable features and unearthing genuine concern. Sesshoumaru's lips thinned, talking lowly to her. Kagome averted her attention to the scroll, trying to give them some privacy.

Blue eyes ran distractedly over pictures and diagrams of beautiful weapons, touching a masterfully designed yumi bow.

_Something like that would suit Kikyo._

"Find anything?" Silk brushed her arm.

"I don't know. Naginatas are cool, but I've never held one," she said, glancing up Sesshoumaru joined her, "they're probably not suited to me."

His eyes flattened, as though that wasn't an excuse. Without permeable, he reached over and plucked a random naginata from a jumbled pile, thrusting it into Kagome's startled hands.

"Test it."

Blinking, she nodded and moved to stand in the middle of the room, adjusting her grip. She tried giving it a swing- gaping and having to widen her stance. Her fingers ached.

"It is heavier and thus slower than a sword," Sesshoumaru's voice drifted around her. "Your hands are too close together. Move your left lower."

"Like this?" Kagome shifted her grip, grunting as the blade tipped forward. "I don't think I have the upper body strength for it."

"Not right now, clearly," Sesshoumaru's hand reached around her from behind, halting the weapon's descent. Warm breath fanned over her ear. "However, with training, anything is possible. Try even the most unlikely choices, miko."

"Is that what you did?"

"Hn, an energy whip was not my first choice to shape my youki into for an attack, but it has served me well."

"O-okay," Kagome shivered a little, a strange heat creeping up her neck. She allowed him to pluck the naginata from her fingers, noticing how naturally he swung it up and returned it back with the others. Like it was familiar to him.

The empty sleeve hanging at his side caught her eye. Even if he wanted to, using such a weapon would be impossible for him now.

A sharp nail tapped upon the scroll. "Choose something else."

Kagome nodded with renewed interest, feeling a little like an endless world of opportunity had opened up. She didn't just have to be an archer anymore. "Let's try a sword- no wait- an axe. I've always wanted to hold an axe."

Unbeknownst to him, Sesshoumaru's thin lips twitched upwards at the corners.


	13. Chapter 13

Swinging downwards- Kagome flinched as the tetsubo made contact with a training dummy. From the sidelines, Rin gave an encouraging 'woop!'

Panting slightly, Kagome straightened and passed a hand over her forehead. She'd been at it for a while, testing out different weapons with the intent of trying to get a feel for them. Some were too heavy or too cumbersome- though Kagome tried not to let that interfere with her choice. She could always train. However, after moving outside and practising on the human-shaped dummy, things had gotten somewhat more complicated.

Setting the tetsubo down with a few other bulky weapons resting against the side of the humble cottage, Kagome sighed. She just couldn't picture herself bludgeoning someone to death. The stupid practice target kept making her visualise a real opponent. A person. Regardless of whether or not they were demon or human, some of the weapons were downright gruesome to use on another living soul. Firing arrows felt so much more 'removed' from committing an act of violence.

She kept this sentiment firmly to herself, of course. It wasn't as though the 'Killing Perfection' would be sympathetic to such delicate nerves.

Picking up a pair of sai, Kagome moved in again, striking at the target.

As with most of her mock training; Sesshoumaru wasted little time in correcting any errors. The warmth brushing against her back was starting to become familiar.

"Grip the handles with all your fingers," he uttered in a low, stern voice Kagome had come to recognise as his 'teaching' tone, "and pinch your thumbs against the joint between the handlebar and the shaft."

Kagome nodded and adjusted her grip as instructed, giving a few jabs at the dummy.

"Have you settled on something yet, fussy miko?"

"I'm not sure," pausing, she glanced at him over one shoulder. "I like using a staff if the metal isn't too long or weighty, so maybe a regular spear would do? Doesn't sound very flashy though after all that build-up. I do kinda like these sai thingys too," she said, adjusting them in her hands.

"Hn," he tipped his head to one side, eyeing the sharp points. "You do realise it is possible to become well versed in more than one type of weapon? In a few months, I will purchase another for you, should you excel in your training."

Kagome blinked, turning to face him fully. What a bizarre demon he'd turned out to be. She'd never have envisioned herself going on a shopping trip with Sesshoumaru- let alone allowing him to spend money on her.

"Is that okay? You're already doing a lot for me."

Sesshoumaru huffed, golden eyes narrowing. "Not out of a sense of charity. I expect you to put whatever weapon you choose to good use- serving me."

"That doesn't take away from the here and now. You could've forced any weapon on me but you didn't," she pointed out, stepping closer. Gratitude bloomed in her chest. "How do I thank you?"

"Your words are sufficient."

Kagome shook her head, "I want to do something for you. If you can think of something- I'm all ears."

Sesshoumaru arched a brow, an unreadable expression smoothing over his puzzled features. His gaze flicked away, lips curving into an odd smirk. "Hn, this one will give you an answer after considering it more carefully."

"Okay?" shrugging, Kagome bent down to pick up a spear, posing with it.

"Hey, Rin!" she called over to the girl, "which one do you think I look best with?"

"It's not about how it LOOKS, foolish girl!" Jaken piped up, turning to Sesshoumaru. "Mi Lord, are you hearing this?! Tell her!"

Sesshoumaru swept his eyes over Kagome critically. "Aesthetic matters a great deal," he hummed.

Jaken's mouth fell open. He then swiftly backtracked, "w-well… now that you mention it- a presentable appearance can strike fear into the heart of the enemy!"

Rin burst into giggles, and even Kagome smiled openly her eyes gentling into deep, soft blues. Sesshoumaru lifted his head, sensing a presence draw closer from within the cottage. Naoko rounded the side of the building, throwing a dirty rag over one shoulder.

"Girl, I'd like a word with you," she called.

Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru, before jogging over with the spear in hand, having forgotten to set it down.

"What's up?"

"Hm?"

"Uh- I mean 'what did you want to talk about?'"

Naoko blinked and smiled, "you seem to be having a bit of trouble choosing."

"I guess so," Kagome glanced at the polished weapon in her hand. "When I first came here, a bow and arrow was pretty much shoved into my hands- and I was told to just start shooting."

Her shoulders fell, "I feel like I'm spoilt for choice now. Not complaining, of course. It's just-"

"Different," Naoko finished, "mn. But I think bizarre, unexpected things suit you. At least, you don't feel like a regular human to me."

"That might be because I'm a miko?" Kagome guessed.

"Or it is a quality that you yourself possess. You're adaptable, yes? Your weapon should be too."

Allowing her to take the spear, Kagome watched as the demon gripped it, getting into a wider stance. "This wood comes from the boughs of a special type of demon tree. It allows energy to pass through easily," orange youki slid up the spear, arranging at its tip. "But you can take it further and shape it, mould your energy into something lethal-" orange light flickered, expanding out into a large shimmering axe blade.

Kagome's eyes slowly lit up, easing closer and lifting a hand, ghosting it over the glowing shape. Naoko's youki gave off a faint heat.

"Will it work for reiki too?"

"Ha! Just who do you think I am, girl?" tossing the spear carelessly, Naoko smirked as Kagome scrambled to catch it, the youki fizzling out once her hands made contact with it.

Concentrating as she would when preparing to fire an arrow, the familiar spark of holy powers raced keenly from her fingertips. It followed the wood, spilling out at the tip just as Naoko's had done to form the wobbly, imperfect shape of a kamayari spear.

Kagome exhaled, elation thrumming through her.

"Mind, girl-" Naoko muttered, folding her arms. "Holy powers won't help you against humans, and this technique draws upon your power. If you're the type to weaken easy, this might not be for you."

"That won't be a problem," Kagome turned to her with a smile, having made up her mind. "It's perfect, thank you."

* * *

Walking quietly into the dimly lit workshop as the others discussed Kagome's 'magic' spear outside, Sesshoumaru watched as Naoko hunched over a workbench, putting the final touches to the bow he'd commissioned her to make.

"She has the same look in her eye that your Mother once had, when the grief was still too near," she spoke lowly, nostalgia touching her features.

Sesshoumaru's jaw clenched. He said nothing.

"You should introduce them sometime, pup. It would do her some good to talk to another who knows the pain of losing a child."

His claws twitched, mind automatically recoiling and firmly shutting out distant memories. He could still hear the awful wailing.

"... I will consider it."


	14. Chapter 14

Sunset lashed vibrant purples and oranges over the sky, clouds dyed deep pink.

Standing outside, Kagome could scarcely believe her eyes as a beautifully ornate bow was presented to her.

It had been hand-carved, the black wood smooth and sleek. Gilded gold ran along the riser, intricate flower designs trapped in hexagonal shapes flowed towards its grip, the bow-string a single solitary thread of firm silver.

"This is… mine?" Kagome breathed. She'd honestly never received something so lovely before. Grand, but not ostentatious. Practical yet clearly so well made it screamed expense. Kagome probably should've lowered her head and gave a deep bow to show her gratitude. Instead, she grasped Naoko's calloused hand and hugged her tight. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

The demoness stiffened a little at the unfamiliar contact, before softening- patting her back. "Heh, true my blood, sweat and tears went into it- but it was your lord who commissioned me."

Kagome pulled away to glance at Sesshoumaru, who stared back plainly.

"He was very particular about it," Naoko smirked, "but I suppose it makes sense. He called you his 'weapon' correct? Your bow reflects that. Anyone who sees it will know what Lord you serve."

Taking another look at the bow, Kagome frowned, noticing that the flower design resembled Sesshoumaru's red and white crest. Naoko was still talking, a strange, teasing twinkle in her eye. "He even supplied some of his hair for the bowstring."

That caught Kagome's attention. "Really? I didn't know demon hair worked like that."

She supposed it made sense since blacksmiths could forge swords from inuyoukai fangs.

_Sesshoumaru cut off some of his hair for me?_

It had probably grown back in two seconds, but the gesture remained sweet- if a little perplexing. All of his gestures as of late had been throwing her for a loop.

Tilting his chin up, Sesshoumaru sneered, "that's enough of your loose tongue, Naoko. We are leaving now."

"Touching words of farewell, as usual," the blacksmith grinned, flashing thick fangs. "Though… you seem to have changed a bit. The pup I knew would've already left by now without a backwards glance."

Huffing, Sesshoumaru did exactly that, pivoting on his heel and stalking away. Ah-Un quickly roused themselves from a nap to follow, Kagome's new spear attached to the saddle. Rin scrambled up their back while Jaken squeaked and sprinted after them as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Kagome giggled, hiding her smile behind her hand. She shouldered her bow and nodded to Naoko in farewell, jogging to catch up with the odd little group.

A black crow flew overhead.

"Ah- _KAGOME!_ "

That voice. She knew that voice.

Kagome stopped dead, looking up and squinting. A tiny figure jumped off the crow's back, sailing down. It collided with Kagome's forehead, bouncing off and landing on her neck. A faint pinprick jabbed at her skin.

"So good to see you! I'm glad I finally found you!"

Kagome slapped her hand over Myoga, prying him off and blinking down at the little flea demon cradled in her palm. "I… yeah, its good to see you too," she mumbled, the creeping sensation of sadness starting to filter into her scent. The last time she'd seen him, everything had been as they should be. Everyone had been safe and well.

By now Sesshoumaru had stopped, looking directly at the little flea.

"I bring news! So much has happened! But first- I wanted to confirm that your friends-"

"They're dead," Kagome said woodenly. "I really don't want to talk about it if you already know."

"Ah, of course," his little body deflated, "the last thing I want to be is insensitive. I am deeply sorry for your loss. My news is quite urgent though."

"Out with it then, vermin," came cool, icy tones.

Kagome found Sesshoumaru much closer than expected, displeasure radiating off him in waves.

"Ah! Y-yes…" Myoga hid behind Kagome's thumb, using it as a shield from the Daiyoukai's withering glare. "I see the rumours were true that you're travelling with Lord Sesshoumaru now, Kagome," he squinted up at her, as though asking if that were wise.

Kagome ignored this, prodding at him with her finger to try to nudge out answers. Myoga sighed, "Lord Inuyasha went on a rampage. As I understand it, he went through two villages and decimated them. Not one survivor."

Kagome's heart shrank back. Horror drenched her like a bucket of ice water, twisting guilt low her stomach. She felt like she might throw up.

Sesshoumaru redirected his attention to the pale woman. In the privacy of his mind, he noted that any progress made; her smiling, her enthusiasm, her renewed vigour, all of it crumbled to ash. She was a trembling fawn once more. One step forward and two steps back.

"Luckily, before he could go further, someone brought him down. He's not dead, but held in a sleeping stasis."

Kagome worked her mouth, no sounds coming out. She cleared her throat, speaking with a thin, quivering tone, "who stopped him?"

"Priestess Kikyo," the little flea demon looked up at her. "She wants to speak to you."


	15. Chapter 15

As simply as Kagome had said it not so long ago, Sesshoumaru elegantly summed up his feelings on what the little vermin had just told them- using a short, succinct tone; "no."

Kagome, roused from her grave staring contest with the flea, blinked up at him. "Excuse me?"

"Whatever that woman has to say, it is of little importance," he said, staring snidely down his nose at her. "It will not aid your goal of defeating Naraku nor unifying the jewel. We will ignore this summons."

Her scent fluctuated with different emotions, settling on exasperation. "What are you talking about? Didn't you hear him? She has Inuyasha."

"In a sleeping stasis likely similar to the one that bound him to a tree. That tells me he is in no immediate danger- not that I would care if he was," he sniffed delicately.

"So you're not going?"

"Neither are you."

Kagome stiffened, grinding her teeth. "You don't get to decide that."

Sesshoumaru arched a brow, impressed by her nerve- and thinking it foolish. His frosty silence and dark youki slowly creeping to the surface combined with her narrow gaze and rising, crackling aura hinted of a prelude to an argument.

Since the group hadn't walked that far from Naoko's cottage (who lingered nosily in the doorway) Rin and Jaken exchanged a glance, guiding Ah-Un awkwardly back to the demoness and accepting her offer of tea. Myoga made a hasty retreat, joining them.

"You agreed to be my weapon," he stated cooly once they were alone.

"Yeah- because I need to stay here and do everything I promised to. That includes knowing Inuyasha's fate. Kikyo might kill him… she's tried to before. I can't just ignore this."

"And if I do not permit it?"

"Then I guess I'm going alone."

"So you are mine- but only when it suits you," Sesshoumaru mused.

Kagome's cheeks flushed, "you're the one making this an ultimatum thing. This is just a slight detour," she set both hands on her hips. "Why does it bother you so much if I go?"

Why indeed? He did not understand it himself. He knew Kikyo to be the name of the woman who sealed Inuyasha 50 years ago, rumoured to be in love with him. Aside from that, he did not know the situation.

However, he'd been around enough scorned females to recognise spurned, hurt emotions. Jealousy and continual blips of low self-esteem flared prevalently within Kagome's scent whenever Kikyo was brought up. To test this, he said her name again.

"What is your relationship with Kikyo?"

Kagome flinched, hugging her arms close to her body defensively, "apparently I'm her reincarnation. Uh- it's complicated. I guess I never told you I'm from the future," she laughed weakly. "Anyway, to sum up, she and I don't get on. It's not her fault- I mean, she was killed and then resurrected against her will with hatred in her heart. I'd be cranky too," a forced smile that didn't reach her eyes bent across her lips. "She always… knows just what to say. Her words find their mark so easy."

Vivid blue eyes pinned him in place, "I think the dread I'm feeling now is similar to how Inuyasha felt towards you."

Something flickered inside him.

_Your words find their mark occasionally too, miko._

"So you are going there to punish yourself," Sesshoumaru surmised. He put any questions about her 'future' origins aside for now, no matter how intriguing.

Kagome frowned, a growl in her voice. "That's not it at all! I'm going there for Inuyasha."

"Your loyalty is astounding," he said dryly. "What will it take for you to decide to kill him? Two more villages? Five?"

Kagome stopped, looking as though she'd been roughly shaken. Her head bowed, fingers digging into her arms.

Sesshoumaru blinked, a stab of mixed emotions inexplicably pinching his gut. Perhaps that had been too harsh, but he was unused to censoring himself.

"If it's such an easy thing to do, then why haven't you killed him yet?" she spoke lowly. "You're the 'Killing Perfection' and totally above attachments. If anyone could do it, it would be you. So why?"

The demon lord watched as she unflinchingly met his gaze, unshed tears swimming within narrow eyes. They were fierce, soulful things, raw. She could command an entire army with such a flinty gaze, he thought. Eyes like that befitted a demon more than a miko.

Sesshoumaru found that he'd forgotten to breathe, drawing breath once more. He could find nothing to say that wouldn't immediately render him vulnerable.

And perhaps that was the key difference between them.

Kagome sighed, gaze softening, becoming weary. "This isn't a situation that has a simple answer. If Kikyo has something to say, a different perspective, then I'll hear her out. Even if she hurts my feelings, I'll endure it."

Sesshoumaru frowned, unable to understand her. Kagome Higurashi willingly thrust her heart on the line, leaving it open for harsh judgement. She'd do so for the sake of others- but when it came to the more complicated, messy and ugly aspects of herself, she'd try to suppress them. Hide them- until they leaked out as night terrors or a roaring temper.

_"I'll do my best, and I'll… try not to cry anymore."_

Sesshoumaru accepted defeat gracefully for once. A part of him wished to witness her resolve. "Fine."

She blinked, raising a brow. "You'll come?"

"Hn, on the condition we train at intervals during travel."

A faint smile curved her lips, expression tired. She nodded, wincing and touching her neck.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," a small grumble reached his keen hearing as she scratched at a red sore, "damn that Myoga. Flea bites are a pain in the ass. Why do they have to itch so much?"

Sesshoumaru hummed, grasping her chin with a casual aloofness. He tilted it to bear her neck, leaning closer, "hold still."

Kagome's eyes widened, body stiffening in response. A wet tongue glided smoothly over the expanse of her throat. When she swallowed thickly- he felt it keenly against his mouth. Her fluttering heartbeat resounded in his ears.

Releasing her, Sesshoumaru straightened. The slick trail of saliva running over her flesh caught the light of the setting sun. "Is it still causing discomfort?"

"No..." she mumbled, closing a hand over it. "I-it's fine now."


	16. Chapter 16

There were a great many things that Kagome could put up with. Miroku's lecherous tendencies for one, Inuyasha accidentally grabbing her ass when he'd carried her via piggyback. Sesshoumaru seeing her naked. Sesshoumaru holding her waist, her chin- even licking her- all these things she could tolerate if they fell under the right circumstances.

But this?

This was too far.

Gasping awake from a night terror, Kagome gave a muffled cry. The firm press of digits against her tongue made her choke- fingers jutting inside her mouth. Wrapping her mind around the situation, her cry bled into a snarl of outrage.

Ripping her face away, Kagome coughed and sputtered, glaring up at Sesshoumaru from her position in his lap. The sensation of sharp claws resting atop her tongue lingered as she grit her teeth.

"You better have a damn good explanation!" she snarled.

Sesshoumaru gave an unruffled snort, calmly flicking saliva off his index and middle fingers. "A fine show of gratitude towards this one. Were it not for my quick thinking, you'd have bitten off your tongue during your screaming."

Catching her breath, Kagome groaned, burying her scarlet face in her hands. "This is just getting more and more ridiculous. Is there no way to stop having these nightmares? I'm sure you're fed up having me sleep on your lap like this away from camp."

He shrugged indifferently as he examined his nails, "drinking green tea before bed may help. I've known it to be a comfort for some."

 _I need a Doctor more than anything_ , she sighed. But returning home wasn't an option right then.

Kagome blinked upon feeling the strong muscles of his thighs stretch and relax beneath her as he made a low, tired noise. "Return to sleep."

"I'm too awake after that," she grumbled.

"If you cannot, then this one is going to bathe."

"At this time of night?"

"Hn."

Kagome climbed off his bent legs, standing awkwardly as he straightened, beginning to walk away. His armour curving over one shoulder caught her eye.

"Do you need me to wake Jaken?" she asked tentatively.

Sesshoumaru stopped. "Now why would you assume that?"

Kagome knew he might take offence to her bluntness, but she was too exhausted to be delicate.

"I was wondering if you can... manage to take off your armour with one hand. If you want help-"

Golden eyes found her in the dark. "Are you volunteering, miko?" amusement coloured his voice rather than anger.

She thought for a moment, before nodding. "Yes, I can do that. You've helped me more than enough."

"Hn, come then."

Picking up her bow and quiver of arrows, Kagome hurried after him as he navigated effortlessly through the dark. Breaking out from under the thick shadows of trees, the sound of rushing water reached her ears.

A waterfall was revealed from around a rocky corner, standing fairly tall. Its pool lay quiet and intimate, a rock-face cupping around it, allowing for privacy.

It looked beautiful, tranquil. Almost dreamlike while drenched in soft moonlight.

"Miko."

Broken from her captivated spell, Kagome met Sesshoumaru's flat gaze. He crooked a clawed finger, plucking the air in a _'come hither'_ gesture.

Kagome cleared her throat, approaching. "Right! Right. Armour time," she peered at the heavy looking, spiked monstrosity. "How do I remove it?"

He snorted, using his single hand to tap close to a secure beneath his ribs.

Kagome minded some of his yellow silk obi down with only a slight blush, working on undoing the secures. They were intricate and varied, some using metal clasps while others were red string ties wound into knots. Kagome's brow furrowed with deep concentration. Her fingers shook, grateful she hadn't cut her nails for a few days, finding them handy for picking the strings loose.

Sesshoumaru smirked while listening to her short huffs of frustration.

"Naoko seemed nice," Kagome babbled in order to fill the silence, bending awkwardly around his side. The demon minded his fall of silver hair aside automatically.

"Hn."

Blue eyes flattened. So much for that attempt at conversation. She tried again, "what's your armour made of?"

"Largely the materials used for the chest plate and shoulder were dragon bones."

Kagome hummed, undoing a difficult knot. "That's kind of cool. Sango has-" she paused, " _had_ a weapon made of demon bone. Seems like everyone here fashions weapons or armour out of hide leftover from battle. I guess it makes sense."

Sesshoumaru did not acknowledge her slip up, lashes falling shut. Occasionally she still referred to her friends in the present tense without realising.

"And what of your origins?"

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask," Kagome smiled to herself, thinking for a moment, "I was born 500 years in the future…"

* * *

It took a little while to figure out the layers of armour, but Sesshoumaru assisted by lifting them off once she was done with a section. All the while, Kagome talked. She spoke of advanced technology, science, education, even her fall through the well and first meeting with Inuyasha.

Once Sesshouamru was left standing in his white under layer of clothing and hakama pants, he felt that he had heard both very little of the modern world and too much at once to properly absorb everything.

Kagome stood back, fussing with her hair. "I'm sure you can handle the last part yourself," her tone slid into a tentatively teasing one.

"Hn," Sesshoumaru turned to the pool, glancing at her. "You have yet to explain how demons function alongside humans in this advanced society, but that can wait for now."

Kagome's eyes widened and slid away, avoiding his intense gaze. "R-right…" moving away with the intent to leave, she froze upon hearing his velvety tone once more.

"And miko?"

"Yes?"

"Since you think me so incapable of performing this task alone, you will assist in the removal of my armour henceforth."

Perhaps he meant it as some sort of punishment for presuming so little of his abilities, but the smile Kagome flashed over her shoulder shone gentle and genuine in the moonlight.

"No problem. Always happy to help out a friend."

Sesshoumaru blinked, utterly bemused. He felt it would be an emotion he'd be experiencing quite regularly around the odd woman.


	17. Chapter 17

Having exhausted the remainder of the snacks in her backpack, Kagome took to foraging with Rin once daybreak hit.

Sleep had been uneventful after assisting Sesshoumaru, so she'd groggily woken up that morning in camp. Having glimpsed long dark hair, she'd rubbed at her eye and greeted 'Sango' a good morning.

Rin had paused and smiled sadly. The embarrassment was soon forgotten, however, as the little girl distracted her with hunting for breakfast.

Kagome inspected a berry carefully, holding it up for Rin to examine. "How about this one? It's not gonna make us go crazy and give our faces purple poisonous spots, is it?"

Giggling, Rin shook her head, "that's a blueberry!"

"Ohhh so it'll only make us turn blue? Got it," Kagome smiled, picking them off the bush and setting them in a bowl. Rin had a sweet laugh and a smile like sunshine. It wasn't painful to be around her despite a few childish traits that reminded her of Shippo- in fact, it was quite the opposite. Rin was so far removed from Kagome's experiences in the Feudal era that she felt like a welcome breath of fresh air. And she laughed at her lame jokes.

Filling up her water bottle in a river Sesshoumaru had apparently deemed 'clean' Kagome glanced at her while they knelt together.

"Rin," she said, "does Sesshoumaru ever hunt for you or supply you with food?"

"Nope- he told me to fend for myself!" she nodded enthusiastically. "And Rin can do that! It's easy to find food during Summer. I'll show you how to fish too!"

"Thanks," Kagome smiled, lifting the plastic container out and screwing on the cap. "But aren't you worried about what will happen when Winter hits? I could ask him to be a little more-"

"It's alright!" Rin burst, dark brown eyes suddenly wide.

Kagome paused, recognising fear when she saw it. Fear of Sesshoumaru? No, that wasn't right. The little girl never flinched or coward around him.

Picking up her small pack, Rin fidgeted with her hands. "The last thing Rin wants to be is a burden. Get in the way. Don't say anything to Lord Sesshoumaru, please. Otherwise, h-he might leave without me."

Setting the bottle down, Kagome inched closer, squeezing her shoulder. "I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about," she said gently.

Lifting her head, mild hope tentatively kindled to life within her eyes. "Really?"

"Shippo told me he used to forage for himself and his dad. Maybe it's a youkai thing," she shrugged. "Sesshoumaru is an unsociable guy with crazy strong demonic powers. He could've left you behind ages ago, but he didn't. I don't believe he will, even if he's not super cuddly towards you. He's your guardian just by virtue of protecting and clothing you."

Kagome thought for a moment, expression caught between a smile and a wince. "Inuyasha used to complain about Shippo tagging along, but he never tried to leave without him. He and Sesshoumaru are alike sometimes in small ways- but don't tell him I said that," she whispered.

Rin cracked a smile, nodding. She then removed a daisy from behind her ear and placed it on Kagome's lap. "I'm happy you joined us," she mumbled shyly, standing.

"Me too," Kagome smiled, picking it up as she stood, gathering their findings and preparing to leave.

A thrill of prickling energy whispered over the back of her neck, raising goosebumps. Kagome stiffened, pausing. Looking into the forest lurking further upriver, she felt as though something gazed back.

Camp lay further towards the left. Rin stopped en route to it. "What's wrong?"

Trying to keep her voice level, Kagome slowly handed her supplies over to Rin. "Where's Sesshoumaru?"

"He left to go find his own breakfast. He's never usually gone long."

Nodding slowly, Kagome drew her bow, nocking an arrow. After what happened last time, she resolved never to be without her weapon again. The spear had been left behind with Ah-Un, along with Tetsusaiga.

"Go back to camp, Rin. Wait for Sesshoumaru there and tell him to find me once he's back."

Worry knitted the little girl's brow, "is… something bad nearby?"

"Nothing I can't handle for a little while," Kagome flashed her what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

Luckily Rin obeyed, albeit reluctantly. She hurried away, Kagome watching her leave and hearing her distant cries for Jaken.

Turning to the still and silent woods where strange, unsettling energy kept ebbing and flowing, she stayed rooted in place.

_"Kagome."_

Gripping the sleek, sturdy black wood of her bow, she fought to keep her breathing even. She knew this would happen sooner or later. That didn't make confronting him alone any less daunting. Sweat beaded on her brow, heart pumping faster.

"Kagome-"

Inuyasha burst out of the forest, hurrying closer. His hair flowed thick, white and soft, eyes wonderfully bright gold like a gleaming treasure trove. He grinned in that cheeky way she used to adore.

Kagome raised her bow, pointing an arrow straight at his face. "Stay back!" She snarled, voice quivering slightly.

Shock and hurt flickered upon his face, the hanyou skidding to a stop.

"What? The hell's up with you? I finally find ya and this is the welcome I get?" He huffed, ears flicking. He glanced around, "where's Miroku and Sango?"

"Shut up," Kagome grit out, tone dipping into a deadly hiss. Her knuckles bled white, grip impossibly tight, "you have two seconds to get the fuck out of here, Naraku. I'm not interested in playing your sick little games."

White triangular ears pressed flat against his head. Visible confusion- so convincing- drenched his face into a sad, conflicted expression. It tugged at her heartstrings.

"You're not making any damn sense. I ain't Naraku! You know me, Kagome-"

Firing a warning shot- the arrow zipped past his arm, grazing the material of his fire rat robe.

Inuyasha stopped, face contorting with such palpable pain and betrayal. "You know me," he whispered, taking a few steps forward. "I love you. I love you so damn much… that I'll finish what I started and kill you too."

Whimpering, Kagome felt tears prick her eyes the second his own bled crimson.

"There's no one left to oppose me now," Naraku's sinfully rich baritone mixed with Inuyasha's gruff voice. "Just give up and cry- it's what you did last time, is it not?" He chuckled, giving her a mocking, pitying look.

"Poor, useless Kagome. I will reunite you with your dear departed friends."

She couldn't breathe- but there was too much oxygen heaving into her lungs.

Inuyasha laughed abruptly, rushing in close and raising a clawed hand- fingers flexing wide.

* * *

Blurring through the air, Sesshoumaru touched down. Giving the demon puppet split in half on the ground a cursory glance, he focused on the kneeling miko. Holy powers licked across the bowstring, dying down.

She gripped her black bow tight, hugging it against her, head bowed.

Stepping closer so that his boots were in her line of sight, he spoke: "I presume he took Inuyasha's guise."

Kagome nodded wordlessly.

Tipping his head slightly to the side, Sesshoumaru's lips thinned. This was why he'd prevented the pathetic hanyou from speaking to her. "His attempts at provocation are as childish as this one assumed they'd be. The fool will meet his end soon by my hand."

This seemed to rouse the numb miko.

"No."

Looking down, he noticed the trembling of her shoulders. Kagome's voice was tight with barely restrained rage and hurt.

"He's unforgivable. I'll...I'll kill him when the time comes."

His assessing gaze watched as she tried to stand, only to sink down again. Her legs shook. Sesshoumaru hummed, "you cannot kill anything if you remain on the ground, miko."

Curling mokomoko around her waist and forcing Kagome back to her feet, Sesshoumaru glanced away when she immediately leaned heavily against his side, stifling a sob.


	18. Chapter 18

The world doesn't stop turning for anyone, no matter how much pain an individual might be experiencing. Kagome felt torn between wishing it would- so that she could lie down and stew in misery for a while- and wishing to simply cease thinking and feeling altogether.

Her head remained stuffy from the lingering onset of tears. Her limbs still trembled like jelly. Nonetheless, Kagome spun on her heal and let out a hoarse cry.

The clank of wood meeting metal rang through the clearing.

Sesshoumaru looked between the cross of their weapons, clicking his tongue.

"Poor," he uttered, nodding at her pose. She had held the spear aloft with both hands to block his attack- Tokijin's blade resting against the wood. "Your intent is understandable, but sidestepping is favourable instead of blocking with your spear in such a way."

Kagome panted, muscles burning. They'd been training for at least an hour since Naraku had shown up- at her suggestion, not his. "Why's that? It worked, didn't it?"

Sesshoumaru leaned back, easing the pressure of his blade to glide the flat of it along her spear. "When blocking with the weapon lying horizontal- your hands are left vulnerable," cool metal bumped against her fingers. "An enemy can easily adjust their swing and cleave your fingers off."

She lowered the spear. "What should I do if I've got no choice but to block?"

Sliding Tokijin back into its scabbard to free the use of his hand, Sesshoumaru grasped the bottom end of her spear.

Raising it- he mock jabbed it towards his throat. "Maintain distance. Jabbing with the blunt end will seem counterintuitive since you hold a blade at the other, but the enemy's attention may be fixated enough on the spike that this technique can work. Thrusting into the throat or jabbing it up towards their nose will stun them. You then strike the finishing blow."

Kagome nodded slowly as he released it. She held the weapon loosely, wiping at her forehead with her arm. Slim legs twitched and shook, making her stance sloppy.

Sesshoumaru arched a brow, no judgement in his tone. "You have reached your limit for now."

"N-no. I can keep going," shifting her weight, she raised the spear once more.

"Hn," grabbing Tokijin, Sesshoumaru simultaneously unsheathed it and swept down- knocking the spear immediately from her hands. It clattered loudly to the ground.

His eyes found hers, "this one has told you before- you will not use me to damage yourself, miko."

"This isn't- I'm not trying to-" Kagome grit her teeth. She pressed a hand against her eyes, running her palm over her face. Exhaling shakily, lean shoulders trembled. "Thinking is painful- and Naraku just dredged up everything all over again. You help me forget... sometimes," she admitted in a subdued tone. "Just for a little while. That's why I want to continue."

Sesshoumaru slid his weapon back into place, resting at his hip. "I do not take issue with that," he turned. "However, burning yourself out with training is unwise when we have ground to cover. Bathe yourself. We set out soon."

"Sesshoumaru," her soft voice halted him in place.

Leaning down, Kagome picked up the spear, watching him with those irritatingly soulful eyes that silently commanded him to listen. "Punishing yourself by training too hard. Is…" she wet dry lips, "is that something you've done before?"

The demon lord's face became blank, emotions wiped clean. He briskly continued walking away, "bathe quickly. If you tarry- we leave you behind."

Kagome swallowed, ignoring his half-hearted threat but feeling as though she'd misstepped. They didn't have that kind of relationship. Just because she bared everything, it didn't mean he should be obliged to do the same with his past.

Shaking herself, Kagome gathered her things to go bathe.

* * *

While walking that afternoon, weariness hit. The day's activities and poor amount of sleep finally took their toll. Kagome's vision blurred, scenery doubling. She barely paid attention to Myoga and Jaken's conversation, swaying. Her shoulder bumped against rough dragon scales.

"Kagome- why don't you ride on Ah-Un for a while?" Rin chirped from the saddle, sliding off, "they won't mind."

Kagome opened her mouth to decline- hesitating. In their own ways, Sesshoumaru, Rin and even Jaken at times had been silently offering aid whether it be by training, foraging with her or gathering firewood before she even asked.

She'd been steeling herself, trying to keep up with Sesshoumaru and not let the agony out where everyone could hear it in the cold light of day. But acting normal was only possible for so long after listening to Naraku's poison.

Maybe it was okay to take the weight off for a little while. The world wouldn't stop turning for her, but she could slow down.

Nodding with a faint smile, Kagome accepted and climbed onto the two-headed dragon. One of them glanced at her.

"Hope I'm not too heavy," she said.

The dragon snorted, shaking its neck. Their murky green mane shook, wiry but soft to the touch when Kagome leaned down, resting against them. She tried not to be reminded of Kirara.

When Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder from the front of the group, he noticed the miko had fallen sound asleep.


End file.
